Sex & Life
Sex & Life August 7, 2016
You’re a woman in love. You’re convinced that you’ve found your soulmate; he makes you feel things you’ve never felt before. Maybe it’s a new relationship and you’re in that honeymoon phase or maybe you two have a long history. Either way, you’re just happy to be in a relationship.
But as you begin to spend more time with him, are you slowly beginning to lose your sense of self? It’s normal to feel infatuated with a person, but it’s not healthy when you start losing control of your life. Here are nine signs that you’re becoming too dependent on your SO.
When you don’t see each other, you feel miserable. It seems like you can’t function correctly without your partner’s physical contact. You rely on your partner to make you feel like you have your life together. That’s not healthy. You need to be able to tackle everyday tasks whether or not he’s by your side!
You never want to see your friends unless your partner is also around. When you finally get the chance to hang out, you’re constantly thinking about when you can leave to see your boyfriend or girlfriend. As an example: Boo texts you to say he’s home from work. You leave your friends immediately, instinctively feeling that if your partner is home, you should be as well. This is a sign that you’re not giving yourself or your partner any quality time for friendships outside of the relationship.
Even when you don’t necessarily agree, you stay quiet, preferring not argue with him. But when you consistently do this, you’re losing your voice. You’re a human being with your own feelings, opinions and perspectives and you shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself! If you are always agreeing with your SO, you’re letting him control what you should or shouldn’t believe, and that’s not healthy or safe. You need your sense of self and room to grow!
“Should I get this? What do you think about me going here? Should I eat this? Can I do this?” It’s not necessary to ask your partner’s approval on simple things like what shampoo to buy, trends to rock or color nail polish to wear. Have your own opinion and decide for yourself! When you are in an equal partnership, you should be able to make your own plans without approval or input. It’s not healthy to always focus on your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s approval because then you’re slowly losing your autonomy. Make your own decisions!
You text your partner about every single thing you do. “I’m at the store now, looking at the candy aisle, leaving the store now, about to drive, going to the gas station now, going to get ready for work, going to eat lunch first, about to head into work …” If you are dependent on your partner, you are constantly sending him updates and freak out when he doesn’t reply right away. When you are in a healthy relationship, you do not need to keep in touch so much. You need that time to be separate from each other! How about saving some conversations for when you two are finally together?
When you’re bored, you rely on your partner to keep you company. When you have a test, you rely on your partner to stay up all night to quiz you. If you’re hungry, you rely on your partner to feed you. If you’re sad, you rely on your partner to make you happy. Sometimes you need to cope and overcome certain elements in your life by yourself. A significant other is someone you can depend on, but you shouldn’t put all the weight on his shoulders. He shouldn’t have to fix everything in your life. Reality check: He has problems to deal with and solve on his own, too! You can and should do things by yourself.
You’re at a party, but never seem to leave your partner’s side. Let your significant other have some time for social interaction! Let him or her catch up with friends. When you’re constantly by your partner’s side, it looks like you don’t know how to interact with anyone else around you. You two will literally be a couple feet away from each other, so just give your partner a breather.
When you are in an unequal partnership, you no longer do activities you used to love. Instead, you’ve picked up all of your partner’s hobbies so that you’re always with him or her. This isn’t healthy. You need time to do things you’ve always loved. After all, you picked those activities because they intrigued you. Dropping your hobbies for your partner is the surest way to lose yourself in a relationship.
You’re already miserable when you two have to separate in order to go to work, so you hate it when he or she has activities that exclude you. Let your partner have some “me time.” Why? Because you actually need it for yourself, too. Time apart helps you focus on yourself. If you don’t spend some time being independent, it’ll be a hundred times harder when your partner leaves for extended periods of time.
The important lesson is that you need balance in your life. With all that said, do you think you’re too dependent on your partner? Have you ever been in a relationship where your significant other was too dependent on you? We want to hear your stories! Comment below or tweet us @entity_mag!
Send this to a friend