Sex & Life
Sex & Life August 21, 2017
Is it time?
Have you ever wondered if you were in the right place to commit to someone long-term?
If you’re like me, long-term romantic relationships freak you out. Outside looking in, people think that it’s because we’re distant and have commitment issues. That is 100 percent not the case. It is not about being dismissive or fearful, but more about wanting to be sure so that you’re not hurting yourself and/or your partner.
Listen, if you’re not ready to commit long-term, don’t be pressured into it. It’s your life — don’t do something you don’t want to do because society is telling you that it is the “normal” thing to do.
If you’re not ready to commit after six months or even a year of dating/talking to someone, then you’re not ready. Screw what people think. But if you’re wondering if it’s time, look at this list to be sure.
Bringing prior baggage and disappointments into new relationships is a BAD idea. Baggage can mean anything from trust issues to a partner still hanging onto an ex. It’s only fair to go into a new relationship with a clean slate. Past baggage from other relationships shouldn’t effect your new one.
It may be hard getting over things that you’ve gone through in the past, but in order to start a new one, you HAVE to let go. So your ex boyfriend cheated on you? Does that mean your new boo will do the same? NO. Give him a chance to prove he’s worthy of your trust.
“No one can start anew if they haven’t dealt with the ghosts of the past.” Are you still hung up on an ex? If so, it may not be the right time to fully commit to someone else.
Not only is it important to understand your partner, but also what commitment entails for your relationship. Relationships differ based on the couple, and it is okay to not go the “traditional” route if it’s not for you.
It is important to understand that commitment and maturity go hand-in-hand, especially when you are considering a long-term commitment to somebody. Being able to effectively communicate with them is also a part of understanding them. Look for your partner’s ability to communicate and make sure that it is up to par with your ideals.
When you are ready to commit long-term, you will have no problem putting your partner’s interests ahead of your own. That being said, don’t lose yourself trying to cater to their needs. But compromise and sacrifice are essential in every relationship.
When committing long-term, it is important to be considerate of your partner. Think about how the decisions you are making can affect the relationship. Bottom line, your partner’s happiness is just as important as yours. They, of course, also have to have your best interests at heart.
Make sure you accept the person you are with and that they accept you as well. You can’t enter into a relationship with the hopes of changing someone to fit into the perfect person you want them to be. In a healthy relationship, both parties will motivate not try to change each other.
Being honest and open with someone and knowing that you will not be judged is a perfect way to figure out if your relationship should move forward to something more serious.
A relationship will only go so far if both partners are truly happy. When going into a long-term relationship, it is important that you are not looking for someone to complete you. If you think you need to be in a relationship to feel “complete,” you will always be looking for something you can never find.
True happiness and fulfillment comes from within, and if you are not satisfied with who you are, you will not find satisfaction in the relationship. If you are not happy being single, you will not be happy in a relationship. If you are searching for a relationship out of loneliness, it will never work.
If you are ready to blend your life into someone else’s, you will become connected with their friends, families, hobbies and maybe even your living situation. You must be ready to bring on a teammate to your everyday lifestyle and routine.
Privacy is important, but your willingness to accept someone into your everyday routine will let the other person know that you are in it for the long run. You will be building bridges between your lives and if you are not ready for this blend, it may be a sign to take it slow.
The list above is here to help you decide if you are ready to commit to a long-term relationship, but that doesn’t mean that this is the only way to go about it. No one can tell you if you are ready except yourself.
It is about what you feel inside, and if you are at a point in your life where you are thinking about settling down or committing to someone you should know yourself pretty well. I truly believe that when we reach the right time and meet the right person, we will know that we are ready to leave the single life behind and build something beautiful with someone else.
But until then, it’s important to get to know yourself and define your own happiness.
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