window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'G-GEQWY429QJ');

 

Brad-Pitt New Girlfriend 2

Ever since Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux broke up, rumors have been swirling that the “Friends” star and her other-ex-husband Brad Pitt would rekindle their romance. But, womp, womp, that’s probably not going to happen.

Turns out, Pitt is “reportedly” dating an MIT Professor with a passion for architecture named Neri Oxman. Or is he? Pitt hasn’t confirmed anything yet — so really he could be dating anybody.

Here are 5 women that Pitt could be dating in this year’s episode of Brad Pitt’s New Girlfriend: Who Will It Be?

Lil Miquela

Lil Miquela is a Brazilian-American Instagram model with nearly 1M followers. She’s also totally fake. And I don’t mean Kardashian fake, I mean she’s a computer-generated image. But she tends to fool people. Plus, “What is real anyway?” With a virtual girlfriend, Pitt could pursue architecture, keep his vineyard going and never have to worry about missing another dinner (because ya know, she’s not real).

Lil Miquela instagram model fake bot

This is Lil Miquela. She has almost 1M Instagram followers.

Jenna Dewan-Tatum

Or um, Jenna Dewan? Ever since Channing Tatum and wife Jenna announced their split the internet has been heartbroken. We could really use a win right now and it’s super hard to upgrade when your husband has looked like Channing Tatum for the last 8 years. A Pitt romance could be the good news we’re all waiting for. Plus, if he ever calls her Jenn by accident will she even notice?

How does anyone say goodbye to this? #ChanningTatum

An Alien From Another Planet

Okay, we all know aliens exist (I’ve seen, like, 9 Netflix documentaries on it). And since Brad Pitt has already dated Earth’s most beautiful stars it only makes sense he would look to the other stars. See what I did there. If anyone is going to snag an extraterrestrial girlfriend of cource it’s going to be a man who looks like this:

Brad Pitt = Hot.

An MIT Professor

So this one *might* be true, depending on how much trust you place in tabloids. But rumor has it Pitt is pulling a George Clooney and setting his sights on a non-famous-but-brilliant-woman. In this case it’s 42-year-old Neri Oxman, an MIT professor and architect. As People reports from a “source”, “He likes women who challenge him in every way, especially in the intellect department. Brad has seen how happy and different Amal has made his friend. It has given him something to think about.”
Brad pitt new girlfriend neri-oxman

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

If Brad Pitt wants a challenge, why not go for a beautiful woman who also hunts vampires? Talk about accomplished. I’m not saying it’s a reality, but let’s not take it off the table just yet.
First, Buffy loves staking people with wood and Pitt loves building things with wood. Second, in an interview with GQ Pitt once said “I get up every morning and I make a fire. When I go to bed, I make a fire, just because—it makes me feel life.” And lest you forget Buffy sang an entire song in Buffy The Musical about walking through fire!
Plus she’s tough and can totally handle his crazy schedule (she’s, like, died a couple times already, so paparazzi is no match for her). Not to mention they can go fight evil together and give Pitt that’s purpose he’s so been longing for.

A match made in heaven (or hell?)

Okay, I’m done.
Send this to a friend