Mentorship August 12, 2016
What’s the difference between guilt and shame and what’s the best way to deal with both? Guilt emerges when you feel you did something wrong. Shame stems from the feelings you get when you question your intrinsic worth.
Figuring out how to deal with these unpleasant emotions, though, is a far trickier question. But who better to help than an ex-nun, one who left the convent after seven years, married and then divorced? She essentially dealt with two failed marriages – one to God and one to a man.
In her book “A Change of Habit: A Spiritual Journey from Sister Mary Kateri to Sister Mary Vodka,” Patty Kogutek addresses feelings of guilt and shame before learning a few truths that brought peace to her life. Below, Ms. Kogutek provides a light in the tunnel to free oneself from guilt and shame.
Kogutek received this advice from a priest when she was conflicted with how she would go on. It’s never selfish to choose the best decision for you, but sometimes people will judge you for it. Trust your gut and don’t let anyone throw you off your path.
There is often no better indicator of the future than examining the past; this can also apply to your personal life. Trust your judgment, but don’t overlook your past. Learn from your mistakes but be gentle on yourself.
Happiness takes practice and can be mastered over a lifetime. You should not expect happiness to always find you. Oftentimes, it is a personal choice.
No matter your beliefs, don’t let religion hinder a relationship with God built on hope, faith and love (if you believe in God). Spirituality is personal, so don’t let other people tell you what is right or wrong. At the end of the day, you know where you stand so get comfy with it.
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