Real Roses, Fake Romance: Is the Love on the Bachelor Real?

When it comes to dating and finding love in the 21^st century, the question is most often not, “Is real love out there?” but instead, “How much are we willing to risk to find it?” There are hundreds of dating sights, apps, TV shows, and every other subscribe-able service available to our quests for the “one”. We have managed to make a social science out of our relationship with finding the right relationships. To find love it seems as though the stakes have never been higher, the access to connecting with people has never been more abundant, and the actual chances of finding something that will last have never been lower.

In a world where we are constantly balancing real life with our social media presences, it has never been more challenging to find “real love”.

We have to date smarter, better, faster, stronger in this digital, romantic age so is it any wonder that we find ourselves skeptical in the face of a television program dedicated to helping men and women find their soulmate? The Bachelor franchise has established itself as a pop culture empire that was built upon the currency of our fascination with finding love. 9.5 million watchers tuned in to see Ben Higgins get down on one knee in front of Lauren B. this last year, well enforcing the establishment of Bachelor Nation as one of the largest fan bases for a television show in the world.

Since debuting its’ first season in 2002, we have watched as 35 seasons, including 20 Bachelors and 11 Bachelorettes, have journeyed to find love on our TV screens. Every group date, one-on-one, awkward two-on-one, and fantasy suite montage we have watched with bated breath, waiting to see if true love will prevail, and if 6 months worth of Monday nights spent around our television screens has lead to a proposal to spend the rest of their lives instagraming and snapchatting with their preferred soul mate of choosing.

A guilty pleasure indulgence if we’ve ever seen one, as watchers are pulled into a world of speed dating for the rich and fabulous, with camera crews and exotic destinations, is it any wonder we watch with the smallest bit of skepticism? We’ve all watched as a couple took a romantic hot air balloon ride, and asked ourselves, “But is any of this actually real?”

Most often the dividing line between those who consider themselves a part of #bachelornation and those who do not is the question, “Is the romance on the Bachelor real?” If you ask the veteran characters of this immensely popular TV show, you will get a complete mix up of answers: some say yes, some say no, and some say everything in between. Something everyone who’s been on the other side of the rose ceremony can agree on? The feelings and emotions they developed on the show were real, whether or not those feelings remained true after it was all over. So the romance is real, the affection is genuine, but the love?

Over the last 14 years, 20 seasons of the Bachelor and 11 seasons of the Bachelorette, there have been 7 couples who have exchanged the final rose and stayed in love long after the credits have rolled.  According to wetpaint.com here are the stats:

Bachelor Couples:

• Season 13’s Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney ended up together after he picked another contestant and then asked Molly out after the finale, they got married in 2010 and are still together with two kids!
• Season 17’s Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici are perhaps the poster children for Bachelor Nation as they have stayed together after the final rose, were married in2014, and welcomed their first baby earlier this year.
• Season 20’s Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell are still together, happily engaged, and about to start filming for their own post-Bach reality show.

Bachelorette Couples:

• Season 1’s Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter ended their season happily ever after, were married later that year (2003 wow!), and are still together today! Talk about a fairytale ending, these two are the longest standing success story in the whole Bachelor franchise.
• Season 7’s Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum are still together after he proposed during the finale in 2011, they were married the next year, and have one son together.
• Season 9’s Desiree Hartstock and Chris Sigfried had a dramatic and tearful finale as the runner up chose to leave the show before proposing to Desiree, leaving Chris to swoop in and save the day with a proposal. Looks like these two were meant to be despite the drama and the shocking finale, as they were married in 2015 and are now expecting their first child.
• Season 11’s Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth captivated audiences with their dramatic and shockingly scandulous season. One of the only couples to use private suite time before the fantasy suite episodes, a strong rivalry, and the most lovable runner up (here’s looking at you B Higgs.) made for one of the best Bachelor love stories yet. Kaitlyn and Shawn have kept fans captivated with their love long after the final rose, and are enjoying being engaged, no rush to settle down as they both know this is it.

So real or not real? That is the question. This year’s sassy and southern Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher speaks for all of us when she says that she is looking for “real love” this season on the Bachelorette, and with the numbers, we’d say her chances are pretty good. More Bachelorette couples stay together than Bachelor couples, but this does not negate the facts that only 7 couples in 31 seasons have made it past the final rose ceremony.

Mathematically speaking, this means our darling JoJo has 22.5% chance of finding real love this time around, if you compare that to the rising rate of divorce in America alone, is it any wonder that we gather around the television every week hoping and crying along with our favorite reality stars in their pursuit of “the one”?

Whichever side of this argument you find yourself on, maybe the question we are actually asking is whether or not we believe in the possibility of love? Real, lasting, not good television, but set your soul on fire, settle down with and never look back, fulfilling, healthy L.O.V.E. Can we believe in this kind of love? Can we ever settle on one answer and stick to it? Maybe not, but maybe the answer we’re looking for in the end: deciding to believe in love enough to give it a real chance in our lives, both on the screen and off.