Relationships May 15, 2017
"Please don't pass your anxiety on to your daughter."
It’s prom season so you know what that means — moms stressing out that their daughters will be dateless losers. Wait. What?
Well, that was one woman’s worry at least. Enough so that she wrote in to Your Teen Mag for advice. Now, she described her daughter as “a hard worker with good grades” who “plays lacrosse, gets along with her teammates” and “is involved in student government.” Teachers love her and people seem to have only nice things to say about her… So why is her mom so worried?
Oh, right. Because she’s shy. No, seriously. This woman wrote into a magazine because her daughter is “introverted” and “only has one close friend.” Now, her daughter hasn’t said she isn’t going to prom. In fact, she already has a dress picked out. Per this woman, it doesn’t even seem like her daughter has expressed any worry.
But this woman finds this scenario “heartbreaking.” Guess what, lady? Not everyone is a social butterfly. Some people are shy and introverted. And one close friend is much better than a bunch of frenemies. Have you seen “Mean Girls” or, well honestly any teen drama on television? One close friend sounds like she’s doing pretty well for herself.
Not to mention, she’s kind of killing it. She’s smart. She’s sweet. Everyone likes her. She seems to be happy with herself. So who cares if she doesn’t have a date? Don’t ignore all of her actual successes and define her by her relationships to men, or lack thereof. God, that’s so old-fashioned and patriarchal.
Dr. Barbara Greenberg even advised, “I’m wondering if your daughter is as concerned about it as you are. If it is more of a concern for you, then please don’t pass your anxiety on to your daughter.”
“Unless I am missing something here, your heart should be full of pride rather than breaking. Congrats on raising such a lovely young woman,” she added. Exactly! Like, talk about nitpicking. This girl sounds great. And prom may be a big deal in the movies and on TV, but let’s be real, it’s just a school dance. So let’s not shortchange someone’s real accomplishments over one silly night.
Forget your cocktail dresses and corsages. This girl’s really going somewhere.
