Raise your hand if you’re just about done with those “how to be successful and rich” articles. Everyone? Yup, that’s what we thought.

There is no finer clickbait than that of the “click here and your name will be in lights” variety. It is pervasive in our culture. And the worst part of it? It works. These headlines bring in thousands of unsuspecting dreamers, only to find empty promises and vague instructions.

But these articles are talking about success the way the media defines it. Money, stability, likeability, fame, prestige… you get the gist. But what if all these articles have you chasing after the wrong dreams?

The following list offers some insight on why most women won’t be altogether “successful”… but  not in the way that you think.

1 They compare their success to others.

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After all, what good is being successful if you constantly feel inferior because of other women’s accomplishments? Rating your success on a bell curve, if you will, can be severely detrimental to your self-esteem.

Scientist Clarissa Silva conducted a study proving this fact; over 60 percent of the adults surveyed reported that social media had a negative impact on their self-esteem. So if you’re curious about how to be successful, social media should not be the first place you turn.

2 They don’t prioritize personal growth.

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Education should not be a word that lacks relevance after the age of 22. According to entrepreneur and author Dale Beaumont, the most successful people are continuous, diligent, stubborn learners.

In fact, he even said that, “If you are not green and growing, you are ripe and rotting.” So basically, once you’ve decided you can stop learning, you’ve decided you can stop growing as a person.

3 They Doubt Themselves.

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As the saying goes, you really can’t hit the ball if you’re thinking of all of the ways you can miss. True success comes with an even greater amount of true risk, and with that comes heart-ripping, totally humiliating failure. However, thick skin is absolutely required for any career a woman wants to pursue, regardless of the amount of male or female competition.

So if you want to know how to be successful, look at the women who fail consistently and fearlessly. It may seem counterintuitive, but they know what they’re doing.

4 They don’t take care of themselves.

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There is a kind of sick culture of “who sleeps the least” when it comes to prestige in academia. However, this is probably one of the most unhealthy practices an individual can engage in. According to ResMed.com, a lack of sleep can affect your ability to take in new information, encourage unhealthy cravings and increase your irritability.

So yeah, your mom was right. Sleep is more than slightly important.

5 They don’t divide big goals into smaller goals.

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The big, seemingly unachievable goals seem so unreachable because they require multi-step processes. If you’ve ever had a friend who color-codes their notes or uses Post-its religiously, their methods may seem a bit overkill. However, they do have the right idea. Building a visual agenda or a goal-to-goal timeline can make terrifying goals seem like a series of easy, achievable tasks.

So if you’re worried about being successful, there’s no need to fear. There are 1,001 reasons to be afraid of failure, but don’t let your fear of failure be reason 1,002 that you don’t try.

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