Sex & Life
Sex & Life July 27, 2017
Do number four, and he'll be out the door like a flash.
He’s the red wine to your “Mindy Project” binge, the avocado to your burrito, the Spotify playlist to your long commute.
Yet sometimes, after a long day of dealing with people, you’re not always in the mood to be the world’s best girlfriend. You might be short with him, hangry or just generally in an awful mood.
Don’t get us wrong, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or a bad girlfriend. Sometimes our worst behaviors are the ones we aren’t aware of. However, recognizing where you can improve is not only a mature choice, but it will do wonders for the growth of your relationship.
So without further ado, here is our abridged list of signs you could be (unknowingly) treating your boyfriend badly.
Imagine if this happened in real life. Your man basically gives you the modern equivalent of a Shakespearean sonnet (which takes much longer to type than to recite, mind you). Would you respond to a love declaration with a simple “k” then peace out?
The Old English root for the word “forgive” is “forgiefan,” which basically means “to give up.” At this point, whatever he did should not be brought up after you’ve forgiven him.
If it still bothers you, like a cheating situation, you may have to bring that up with him. Perhaps you wanted to leave him at the time, but couldn’t find the strength to. But whatever choice you make, red-hot fury is usually not the most productive one.
You know those days where the second you get home you burst into a twenty-minute rant about how Mary from work is the worst person on the face of the Earth? Well, once you’re done letting off some steam, you’re not finished. If your boyfriend listened to this entire spiel, you at least owe him your full attention when he tells you about his day.
If your boyfriend listened to this entire spiel, you at least owe him your full attention when he tells you about his day. Scott Peck M.D., author of the bestselling book “The Road Less Travelled,” emphasized how crucial it is to be a good listener in a relationship.
“Since true listening involves a setting aside of the self, it also temporarily involves a total acceptance of the others. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will feel less and less vulnerable, and more and more inclined to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. As this happens, speaker and listener begin to appreciate each other more and more, and the dance of love is begun again.”
Listening is also one of the easiest ways to be present for your partner.
In a survey conducted by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin of over 5,000 US singles, 57 percent of guys considered neediness a deal-breaker. However, you don’t necessarily have to be needy to impede your boyfriend’s time with friends and family.
For example, girls who are known to guilt and coerce their man into spending time with them, rather than calling his mom or reconnecting with some old college buddies. Now this doesn’t mean they’re horrible people, it just means they momentarily forgot to respect their partner’s time. It’s an easy fix.
Now, most of us don’t need to be told twice. However, consent goes both ways, for every situation. If he respects your decision to not cuddle, you should respect him if he is not in the mood. Even if you two draw the line at some light snuggling, respecting his wishes is key to solid trust-building.
So now that you know how to treat your boyfriend badly, you can treat your boyfriend… well… not badly. Being a bad girlfriend is a pretty easy habit to slip into.
However, with a little self-awareness, you’ll know how to treat your boyfriend like a king (or, you know, just a generally nice guy. Because paying your boyfriend taxes would be weird).
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