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Entity discusses the differences between an introvert and extrovert

What’s the main difference between an introvert and extrovert? People on either side of the “vert” spectrum carry conversations very differently.

An extrovert will probably initiate the conversation, bounding over the small talk to get to engaging subjects right away. Introverts, however, may not approach you first.

So without further ado, here are seven things you should never mention to an introvert.

1 “why are you so shy?”

Entity discusses differences between an introvert and extrovert

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Just like Karen shouldn’t ask people why they’re white, you probably shouldn’t ask people why they’re so shy. Even if you don’t mean to alienate the person, the question automatically implies “you’re shy, and that’s weird.”

Another way to phrase might be, “You seem like a really thoughtful person” or “are you the kind of person who can think about one complex concept, for like, hours?” Introvert and extrovert alike will appreciate that you’re curious about their personality, rather than fixating on potential insecurities.

2 “You should be friends with them! Let me introduce you.”

Entity discusses the difference between an introvert and extrovert

Image via Fox/Giphy

Have you ever found out that someone is from a different country and that one person in the group pipes out “say something in French!”

This is the basically the same thing. Meeting someone with the imposed intent of friendship is basically the death of an introvert. Not only do they have to meet your expectation of immediate friendship, but they also have to suddenly ace the art of small talk in 1.2 seconds.

Introverts can meet new people, of course…they would just prefer to know in advance, that way they can mentally prepare for the event.

3 “Don’t be lame and stay home.”

Entity discusses the difference between an introvert and extrovert

Image via Giphy

The second you tell an introvert that they’re lame for not hitting the bars, be prepared for the longest lecture of your life. An introvert will pull out their long list of reasons that partying at home with friends beats hitting the bars any day.

They will argue that you don’t have to look cute, drinks are exponentially cheaper, no one has to drive, and you don’t have to worry about any creepy guys. To be honest, they kind of have a point.

4 “You need to put yourself out there”

Entity discusses the difference between an introvert and extrovert

Image via NBC/Giphy

Telling someone they’re single because they’re an introvert is like telling somebody they can’t drive because they’re a bad swimmer. Being an introvert and extrovert has to do with how you recharge, or where you go to replenish your energy.  Extroverts gain energy from others, and introverts gain energy from solitude. Ambiverts get their energy from both places. Basically, everyone falls somewhere on the “vert” spectrum.

Introversion can actually be a total connector for prospective soulmates. Why do you think movies have people meet at bookstores or poetry readings? Bookworms and slam poetry crows are usually not primarily extroverted, so introverts can often find common ground at these low-key social gatherings.

5 “You need to speak up for yourself more”

Entity discusses the difference between an introvert and extrovert

Image via Giphy

Man or woman, both introvert and extrovert, don’t often like to be told this. This phrase can imply “you let people walk all over you” or “since you don’t say much in group settings, you don’t have anything to say”.

Introverts can be extremely intuitive people, which means they often choose their words very carefully. That way, the select words they do say in group settings are far more effective than if they had been speaking the whole time.

That being said, if you do see someone who’s being treated badly, this is not a bad piece of advice to give. However, make sure the person is being actively pushed around instead of just being thoughtful.

In general, the same rules of decency you use with any person will work with introverts. If you respect their way of replenishing their energy, they will be more than willing to respect yours.

 

 

 

 

 

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