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Entity reports on how tradition is breaking and the husband change name for his wife.

When a woman says, “I do” to marriage, she traditionally also says, “I do” to adopting a man’s last name. This tradition originates from 15th century England where a married couple morphs into a single person whose purpose is to produce an heir – and this practice still lives on today. Recently, however, a less-patriarchal tradition has emerged: a husband changes his name instead, or couples create unique “meshed” surnames with a mix of both names.

READ MORE: Why Millennials Won’t Make Their Parent’s Mistakes in Marriage

How many couples today are embracing new naming traditions? What’s the big deal about a surname anyway? And what does the law have to say about marital surnames? To find out everything you need to know about surnames after marriage, ENTITY talked with Dr. Laurie Scheuble, Penn State sociology professor with a research focus on marital naming, Dr. Donna Lillian, Linguistics professor at Appalachian State University who has studied maiden name retention since the 1980s, and Dr. Karla Ivankovich, a psychologist and marriage counselor.

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Here’s what you should know if you’re wondering whether your husband should change his name for you.

How are Marital Names Changing?

Today, more men might be asking themselves – or being asked by their partners – how marriage will affect their surname than in previous years. Yet, the numbers of couples adopting untraditional marital names is still small. The New York Times has reported that 20 percent of married women are keeping their maiden names. However, Dr. Scheuble says that Census Data shows only around 8 percent of women are keeping or hyphenating their birth surname. “The methodology [of the Google Consumer Survey the New York Times reported on] was weak and the findings cannot be generalized,” she explains.

Dr. Lillian has found that men’s willingness to take their wife’s surname is similarly low, saying: “I have been doing surveys about people’s surname choices ever since 1985, and in all my surveys, only a handful of men have indicated that they would be willing to take their wife’s surname.” She recently conducted an informal survey in two of her college classes about names. She found that “none [of her male students] said that they would change [their surname], although three said that they would be willing to consider taking their wife’s name or hyphenating it if it was important to her. By contrast, only 3 women said that they didn’t plan to change their surname and 2 more said that they’d probably hyphenate the two surnames.”

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

The truth is, modern women have more options to choose when it comes to choosing a surname. Besides keeping their maiden name, women are exploring “double barreling,” or “the creation of a new name based on the name of both husband and wife,” and “meshing, in which people are taking parts of each name to create a totally different name,” explains Dr. Ivankovich.

READ MORE: How to Manage a Marriage With Two Alpha Personalities in the House

Public opinion on names remains narrow, however. For instance, a 2015 poll found that only 7 percent of surveyed Americans thought it was “great” for a man to take his wife’s surname upon marrying while 40 percent reported it was “a little odd.” Younger respondents were more supportive than older ones (16 percent thought it was “great” vs. zero). The trend obviously still has a long way to go, though.

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

What’s in a Name?

So what is so important about a surname that people want to keep it even after marriage? And what factors push women to adopt their husband’s name – or not?

Ironically, when placed in historical context, surnames haven’t been important for very long. “In the middle ages, most people didn’t even have surnames,” explains Dr. Lillian. “What they had were by-names, which were names that indicated something about their occupation, or where they lived, or maybe some physical feature about them.”

Nowadays, however, Dr. Ivankovich has found that, “from a psychological standpoint, a name is fundamental to an individual’s identity.” In fact, studies have even reported that names can impact what occupations we choose, the stocks we invest in, what city we call home, and even who we marry.

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

So why are women expected to ditch this significant part of their identity when they start wearing a wedding ring? For Dr. Scheuble, socialization is to blame. “We still hang on to the idea that the man is the head of household,” she says. “So, a man changing his name to that of his wife is rare because people see it as a sign of weakness. In many ways, marital name has become the last socially approved [form of] sexism.” One 2013 study even found that a married woman who retains her maiden name is considered less attractive, less committed and a worse mother than a married woman who took her husband’s name.

This social vilification often drives women to lose their maiden name, even if they initially didn’t want to. In a 2012 survey of unmarried female college students, 31 percent reported that they would adopt their husband’s name because of “devotion and family unity.” As one of Dr. Lillian’s students explained: “I want to hyphenate my surname now and whatever my husband surname is, but if there was not societal pressure, I would not change my name at all.”

READ MORE: What You Need to Know About Delayed Marriage Rates and Why You Shouldn’t Be Alarmed

So what motivates some women to still buck tradition? According to Dr. Scheuble, “Research consistently shows that women who are educated, get married at a later age, are established in their profession and have low levels of religiosity are the most likely to keep their birth surname at marriage.”

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

After all, from bylines to social media to word-of-mouth, our names can be important parts of our business marketing. As a result, women who’ve already “branded” themselves with their original surnames might see taking their husband’s name as more of a career speed-bump than a sign of true soulmates.

And for those who argue feminism is to blame, the answer is: maybe yes, maybe no. “Because women of today are rejoicing in the rise of a feminist movement…they want to be known for who they are personally and professionally, prior to marriage, rather than being defined by their marital status,” says Dr. Ivankovich. “Changing the name is just one more piece that supports the changes in belief that women are meant to stay barefoot and pregnant.”

READ MORE: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Divorce: Are Some Women Too Independent for Marriage?

However, Dr. Lillian points out: “Surname retention is associated with feminism, so it is rejected by women who are unwilling to identify themselves that publicly as feminists. And a man taking his wife’s surname is assumed to be a feminist, so unless the man is really strong and confident in his own identity, he is likely to be unwilling to withstand the harassment of being associated with feminism.”

Perhaps the best summary of why people take or don’t take their spouses name is by Jacob Desjarlais, formerly Jacob Smith, who wrote an article in Times Magazine on why he took his wife’s last name. In it, he says: “Changing—or keeping—your name is a personal identity issue. You should only take someone’s last name if it’s important to you.”

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

Choosing your married surname is as simple (yet complicated) as that.

What Legalities Should You Keep in Mind?

What legal facts should you keep in mind if you decide you want to keep your maiden name – or your husband wants to change his? First of all, you need to ditch harmful myths.

According to Dr. Lillian, until 1970, many Americans believed “it was illegal for a woman to keep her surname when she married. This [misconception] was based on a 19th century court ruling about divorce that was then misinterpreted. It took until 1970 for someone to successfully challenge that precedent and to have the right of women to keep their surname recognized.”

READ MORE: North Dakota Law Makers to Women: Sundays Are for Making Your Husband Breakfast in Bed

Although people are becoming more aware that women don’t have to change their surnames after marriage, laws haven’t caught up to couples embracing alternative forms of marital names. Only nine states – California, new York, Massachusetts, Oregon, Iowa, Hawaii, Georgia and North Dakota – have laws to help men change their names after marriage. James Kosur found this out the hard way when he changed his name from James Johnson. While women can simply show their marriage license to the court and pay a name-change fee of around $60, he had to pay $300 for an ad in the newspaper and spend hours in court.

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

If you’re thinking of keeping your maiden name, you should also consider the ramifications on any future children. According to Dr. Scheuble, “Over 90 percent of women who keep their last name upon marriage give their children their husband’s last name and their last name as a middle name.” Would you be comfortable being the only person in your family with your last name? And, even if you give the child your name, are you ready to face logistical challenges like confusion when traveling overseas, trouble verifying identity and guardianship or just frustration of explaining your family’s different surnames for what feels like the one hundredth time?

There’s no wrong answer, but these are definitely questions you’d be right to ask yourself.

The Future of Married Names

While you might be hoping to hear that marriage will become more egalitarian than ever, experts are torn over how marital names will change in the following years. For Dr. Scheuble, because women tend to have weaker identifications with their names, adopting their husband’s surname will probably always be the status quo.

However, Dr. Ivankovich sees signs of change in younger Americans. “The millennial generation is redefining the rules to fit their own unique needs and perceptions,” she says. “They are the most emotionally intelligent generation of our time, [and] this shift allows couples to join together in a way that feels reflective to both of them, without a preconceived notion of where each of them come from, but who they are at that time.” She does admit, however, that the acceptance of untraditional marital names will take time.

READ MORE: America’s Enthusiasm for Marriage…and Divorce

Dr. Lillian has seen proof that this change is possible in her own home country of Canada. “In the 1970s, the province of Quebec in Canada made it the law that both people keep their own surname when they marry,” she explains. “This has resulted in 2 generations of people who just take it for granted that the partners in the marriage will have different surnames, and it’s not really a big deal anymore. What that shows is that people’s attitudes can change and society will not fall apart if married people have different surnames.”

Entity reports on the trend of how a husband changes names for his wife, plus the psychological and legal implications of untraditional marital name changes.

The truth is, times are changing and now, both man and wife have the equal right and opportunity to question their marital name. A new kind of man is emerging: one who sees past the old surname tradition and realizes that a name is more than just a sign of lineage. It’s also part of every man’s – and woman’s – personal identity.

Zoe Saldana, whose husband took her name, summed up this change on Facebook: “Fathers, sons, brothers, men everywhere: Your legacy will not perish if you take your partner’s surname, or she keeps hers. Let’s start by letting go of some of the limitations we have inherited from the past, and forge a new path moving forward.”

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