Relationships June 4, 2018
The non-binary box is shattering the concept of gender.
It’s on almost every form we fill out throughout our lives: check the box for male or female. For some of us, this is a simple, painless task. We tick our relevant box and move on. But for those who don’t fall neatly into the male or female categories this seemingly straightforward demographic question is anything but painless. The dictionary definition of non-binary is “not consisting of, indicating, or involving two.”But what does non-binary mean when it comes to gender and sex? The term describes people who don’t feel like either a man or a woman. For them, this traditional gender binary does not include their gender. There are countless ways people identify their gender outside of man or woman, but here’s a break down of three of the more common of these identities.
Agender people do not identify with any gender or gender identity. People who are agender use many pronouns, however, they/them/theirs are safe bets if you are not sure how someone identifies. Rapper Angel Haze (now known as Roes) is a notable celebrity who identifies as agender. When asked about the issue, they explained that “when I hear people use the word ‘her’ around me I’m like, Who are they talking about, you know?” Roes is outspoken about their identity and their bold honesty is a source of inspiration to many of their fans.
People who are gender fluid have a gender that can change from day to day or even moment to moment. They use the pronoun of whichever gender they feel and some may stick to they/them/theirs. Actor Amandla Stenberg of the Hunger Games is a famous gender fluid celebrity. Jinkx Monsoon of RuPaul’s Drag Race fame is another gender fluid icon.
Genderqueer people are people who completely reject the notion of gender. There are genderqueer people who use they/them/theirs. There are alternate pronouns like zi/hir/ hirs for non-binary people to use. A common form of addressing non-binary people in a formal setting is Mx.
Genderqueer is not the same as queer as a sexuality. Non-binary people’s sexualities are as varied as binary people and are not determined by their gender identity. There are non-binary people who are monosexual (only liking one sex/gender), people who are pansexual and people who are asexual or aromantic. Some non-binary people consider themselves part of the LGBTQ+ community, while others do not. Miley Cyrus and Ruby Rose are two famous genderqueer celebrities who are helping normalize non-binary gender categories.
People who are non-binary have existed for all of human history. To say non-binary is a phenomenon among millennials misses the point. In fact, many cultures around the world recognize a third, fourth and even fifth gender or sex.
There are also people who are intersex, meaning they were born with a combination of traditionally male reproductive organs and traditionally female reproductive organs. People who are intersex may or may not identify as non-binary and may or may not use pronouns outside of “she/her/hers” and “he/him/his.”
It is wrong to tell people who they are and who they are not. When you invalidate someone’s identity you are denying that person their right to be themselves. This can be severely detrimental to that person’s well-being. It does not take much to be mindful of someone’s identity and pronouns. If you aren’t sure what that person wants to be called, simply ask them. Hopefully, you can now, at least in part, answer the question “what does non-binary mean?” But if you want to learn more about non-binary identities, you can check out this awesome resource.
