Relationships August 11, 2016
As a woman of color, my parents made it a point to remind me that I could date a man from any culture. I remember blissfully playing with my Barbies (black and white alike) and creating fantasy relationships, not quite understanding what they meant in real life. But once I started dating, I began to accept the harsh reality that not all parents would be as progressive as mine.
Eventually, after dating a series of people of all different backgrounds, I came to an important conclusion about the world of interracial dating; being in an interracial relationship is no walk in the park.
Some women may feel that your entire race is stealing all the men in their culture. As a part of an interracial couple, you’re automatically a target for jealousy and backlash. It isn’t fair, and unfortunately, there’s no PSA for stigmas about interracial dating to make the madness stop. Regardless, don’t ever let anyone make you feel insecure about your relationship because of your respective races. You deserve to be with whomever you please.
When you’re with your significant other, it is unavoidable that you will encounter all forms of racism, from people over-emphasizing how cute you are together to people flat-out calling you a “traitor” to your own race. The remarks from some people might make you uneasy. In these instances, don’t be ashamed to speak up for yourself. You can still do this without stooping to their level; just speak clearly and kindly. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable whenever you go anywhere with your significant other.
As long as these conversations are constructive, they are actually very healthy in an interracial relationship. It’s completely normal to have conversations about your race and even have arguments about world affairs. In the long run, having some awareness about how your significant other feels will lead to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
We’ve all heard the stereotypes about black men being bigger downstairs or Asian women being more submissive. When you’re with someone of another race, people will try to crawl into your sheets as if they have that right. They’ll come up with reasons to describe why having sex with another race is like discovering uncharted territory. The reality is, sex differs from person to person, not race to race.
Meeting the parents is always a little nerve-wracking, but it’s even more so when you’re half of an interracial whole. It is especially unsettling if your partner hasn’t told them about the “interracial” part. Truthfully, you never know how parents will feel about you, but the best you can do is to be as respectful as you can be. If you’re already good with parents, then you should be just fine! If a topic about your race comes up, then use it as an opportunity to teach them about your race and background.
Regardless of whether or not you have even discussed having children, just know that people will automatically comment on how cute your “mixed babies” will be. What you need to know, however, is that it’s not okay to date someone just because you want mixed-race babies. Trying to turn your relationship into a Cheerios commercial isn’t okay. Newsflash: all races have cute babies because all babies are cute!
So, whether you’re thinking about dating someone from another race or have been in an interracial relationship for years, racial challenges come with the territory. These challenges don’t always have to be negative, but they can definitely affect how you see the world as a whole. Sadly, racism in this country isn’t going to end anytime soon, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from having a long, happy relationship with your significant other.
