Mentorship October 27, 2016
You love watching about it – from films like “Toy Story” to “Black Swan” to “Spiderman” – but going through an identity crisis isn’t nearly as much fun. When you are going through an identity crisis, you are confused by who you are. But how do you know that any confusion you’re feeling – from indecision over your favorite ice cream flavor to calling yourself an “athlete” when you run three times a week – is a true indication of an identity crisis?
Do you constantly jump from being a hipster to a skater girl to a Britney Spears wannabe? Then you might be reflecting an internal uncertainty about who you really are. As Rebecca Mckown on Mind Body Green explains, when you start questioning – or changing – labels, you’re probably questioning your identity. Like a middle schooler trying to figure out what eye shadow looks best, you’re trying to see what identity feels “right.”
When classical music lovers surround you, suddenly you wish the music industry would go back to Bach. But only a few hours later, you’re screaming along to your best friend’s favorite Screamo band. While we certainly adapt to our environments – most workers, for instance, act differently in the office than at home – you might be experiencing an identity crisis if your entire personality changes with the location. As Harley Therapy points out, this implies that your choices take the backseat to your environment when it comes to identity. If that’s true, pick your friends wisely!
Now, take a quick reflection on your love life or friendships. Do you seem to change personalities based on who you’re dating or hanging out with? According to Harley Therapy, if you change your likes and dislikes to match those of your companion, you’re probably lacking a strong identity. Compromising in a relationship is healthy; changing to transform into the “perfect” friend isn’t.
Who looks back at you when you peer in the mirror? Most likely, if you have a strong sense of identity, you can see beyond the wrapping paper to the strong, quirky – or however you’d like to describe yourself – woman inside. As Mind Body Green explains, though, when your identity isn’t secure, you’re curious about what is hiding beneath your physical appearance. If people saw you instead of your external traits, what would they see?
You’re not just researching new quotes to post on Instagram. Instead, if you’re having an identity crisis, you try to learn the purpose of your existence. According to Rebecca Mckown, at this stage, you’ve probably realized that the life you have today – and how you’re living it – isn’t enough. You know there must be something more.
Suddenly, all the plans you’ve made – whether marrying a certain person or dominating a particular field – doesn’t sound so appealing. Just like your identity doesn’t seem to fit you anymore, neither do your dreams of the future.
If you’ve answered “yes” to all, or a few, of these questions, don’t panic. Rebecca Mckown sees an identity crisis as a blessing in disguise. Instead of blindly following a set path in life, you’ve realized you’re going the wrong direction and you have the power to change course. And, in the process of re-learning who you are, you can realize what you want. Then, a future as one of the #WomenThatDo is yours for the taking.
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