Relationships November 6, 2016
Being the single one in your squad doesn’t have to be as lonely and miserable as people make it out to be. Although feeling like your bestie has abandoned you for her hot date one too many times is normal, you don’t have to wallow in those emotions.
Spending quality time with your taken friends can be lots of fun, as long as you have the right mindset.
Need help? Here are three ways to deal with your friends if they’re in relationships.
Don’t forget to remind yourself that you can’t be selfish when your friends are hanging out with their significant others. They have the right to spend some quality time with their boyfriends or girlfriends. We know you might miss your best friend when she starts hanging out more with her new partner, but nobody likes a controlling or possessive person.
“A friendship is between two peers,” Florence Isaacs, author of “Toxic Friends/True Friends,” tells WebMD. “There has to be balance in a friendship for it to be healthy … Toxic friends stress you out, use you, are unreliable, are overly demanding and don’t give anything back.”
In order for your friendship to be supportive and satisfying, you’ve got to listen to your friend’s needs and find a compromise. Perhaps you can schedule a day in the week when you are both set to hang out. Bestie coffee date, anyone?
There is honestly nothing bad about being a third wheel, fifth wheel or even seventh wheel! Use this time to bond with your best friends and get to know their partners. Let them know you don’t mind tagging along in the first place. Make it clear that you’ll only feel like an uncomfortable third wheel if they make it that uncomfortable.
Besides, as Huffington Post points out, having taken friends comes with its perks. If you’re having a bad day, you’ve got two people to comfort you. If your friends have kids, then you automatically become the “cool” aunt. And just being around them will automatically teach you the basics of different relationships.
When in doubt, voice it out. Sure, at the end of the day you have to accept that your friend is in a relationship. However, if you feel like you’re losing her because of it, let her know. Sometimes people are too caught up in the honeymoon stage that they don’t even realize they’re pushing others away. Some friends need that extra reminder about the importance of balancing friendships and relationships. It’s all about communication.
“Effective communication is needed to build and maintain a healthy, solid foundation for a friendship,” Livestrong writes. “To communicate well, you need to know how to listen, build trust and deal with any issues that may cause tension.” Approach your conversations from an empathetic perspective and make sure to keep from being antagonistic.
Don’t be the person who hates because she doesn’t have a mate – just work together and start talking. You both love and care about each other, so just be open about your concerns and come up with solutions together.
