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Bella Hadid took quick action to unfollow Selena Gomez on Instagram after a picture of Gomez with Hadid’s ex-boyfriend The Weeknd surfaced in the media.
She wanted to distance herself from any reminders of their recent breakup, reported E! .
But this high profile act of “unfollowing” begs one very obvious question— what exactly is the protocol for social media etiquette after ending a relationship?
Being classy is the most important rule, according to Talk Space. Emily Post always stressed the importance of manners in her famous writings on etiquette and now, in the digital age, some similar rules apply.
ENTITY offers its own DO’s and DON’Ts list for social media users to follow during a post breakup.
It seems like every celebrity nowadays turns to social media to inform the public about their private matters.
Chris Brown committed a social media homicide after he publicly exposed a nude picture of his now ex-girlfriend, Karreuche Tran, on his Facebook page. The Daily Mail reported that they were no longer on speaking terms shortly after the post got deleted. Tran responded to the incident by taking to Instagram and posting, “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you,” referencing the end of her relationship.
Posting nudity and anything that references your breakup, including passive aggressive messages, or cheesy quotes, can be considered a major social media faux-pas. It’s maybe wise to stay off social media altogether for a while after a breakup.
Celebrity couples have also been known to delete evidence of their relationships very soon after a breakup. Chris Brown, Taylor Swift, and Zayn Malik are all guilty of clicking “delete.” However, be cautious! Removing all of the photos you have of your ex can be a more dramatic statement than the breakup itself.
Instead, consider placing these pictures in a private photo album. This way you can save that one image of you posing at the Grand Canyon, even if your ex is lurking by your side in the foreground.
Although every personal case is different, it might be in your best interest to remain Facebook friends with your ex, or else you might regret the “unfriending” once things blow over.
Vogue editors weigh in on this matter by stating , “For some reason, unfriending feels more extreme.” Luckily, you can click the Facebook feature that allows you to unfollow your ex’s newsfeed to decrease your chances of seeing their pictures if/when they post any with a new lover.
Instagram, however, does not have this option. So it may be more acceptable to consider unfollowing your ex, and his friends on that platform. You may want to also think about temporarily unfollowing any brands or profiles that could remind you of your breakup. For example, you don’t want to necessarily see quotes from someone who constantly posts about relationships. This could end up opening a very fresh wound.
If you do happen to unfriend or block your ex, make sure it’s for a good reason (i.e. stalking, posting vulgar or nude photos, like Chris Brown).
Ironically, if you are romantically involved with a person, many sources suggest that it’s best to NOT follow them on Facebook or Instagram because it could serve as a huge distraction when trying to form an authentic relationship with them. Psychologist Gwendolyn Seidman told Psychology Today that Facebook can have detrimental effects in a relationship, especially if a person already has jealous tendencies. New York therapist Ian Kerner goes so far as to advise “unfriending” your spouse if you want a healthier marriage, reports the UK’s Daily Mirror .
Follow these modern-day etiquette suggestions, and like Bella, you too can avoid all the sticky corners of a social media love triangle.
