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Relationships July 5, 2017
Everything was going great. Why did they stop texting back?
If you are in a relationship and suddenly your partner stops contacting you, it can be pretty confusing. Everything was going fine. And you didn’t officially break up. So what’s happening? Well, your significant other is ghosting you.
And this isn’t the friendly kind of ghost.
But what, exactly, is ghosting? Well, let ENTITY break it down for you.
Ghosting someone is the act of cutting off all communication with someone. Usually, the person being ghosted is a romantic partner.
The idea is that the ghostee will understand their partner is no longer interested. And if the person ghosting their partner is lucky, their former fling will cut off communication efforts too. Easy, right?
Not really.
Ghosting often leaves the ghostee confused and left without answers or closure. Because you know, their partner didn’t actually take the time to break up with them. They just took a note from Casper and disappeared.
One user on Reddit described it perfectly: “Ghosting is not only disrespectful, it makes the other person feel like crap since they don’t know what they did to get dumped like that.”
And, the user even gave advice to people planning on ghosting someone in their life: “People need to start standing up to people who ghost others with a few exceptions because it’s such a crappy thing to do to someone. If you aren’t interested in them whether it’s sexually or even as a friend, tell them so they can have closure.”
As another Reddit user points out, once you ghost a friend, it’s hard to regain the relationship you once had. “This happened to me. Ghosting is a pet peeve of mine,” the post says. “I’m cordial, but I keep the conversations as short as possible, and absolutely do not consider her a friend anymore.”
Well, it turns out they do this for various reasons.
In a romantic relationship, ghosting someone is usually an attempt to walk away without hurting the other person’s feelings. Your partner may not be feeling the relationship anymore, but they still care about you as a person. So, ghosting is their attempt at just removing themselves from your life without the messiness of a breakup.
The problem?
The person who is ghosted is left without an explanation or closure, which can often be much more painful than a normal break up. At this point, they probably don’t know how to feel. Should they be worried about your safety? Is it something they did? They wouldn’t know because you just stopped communicating.
When it comes to ghosting friends, however, it gets a little more complicated.
Friends sometimes ghost each other because they just don’t have time to put forth the effort. People get busy and sometimes they feel the need to remove themselves entirely.
You may also be moving in a different direction than your friend is – you’ve got different goals, you’re moving away or you’re just not on the same page anymore. There wasn’t a big fight or drama. You’re simply trying to move on to the next chapter in your life as naturally as you can.
It sounds like a legitimate enough excuse, right?
No. At the end of the day, ghosting a friend is still not cool because you may be someone’s support system. And when you just disappear, you can make them feel alone and depressed.
And for those of you even considering ghosting – you shouldn’t. It’s never the best option. As cliche as it may sound, communication is key and we can’t stress that enough.
But if you’re the one being ghosted. Well, it sucks but you know you’ll totally find someone better soon.