Motherhood is one of the most rewarding and difficult jobs no matter which country you’re from or whether you’re a working or a stay at home mom. Motherhood is a never ending job that takes up most if not all of a woman’s time. Because of that, women tend to save no time for themselves for anything like relaxations, outlets for stress or their personal interests. A 2014 post on YourTango titled “Dear Stay-At-Home Moms, Shut The Eff Up,” captures a single woman’s frustration over the complaints of other stay at home moms, “Just stop knocking on my door with your greasy hair and your caffeine withdrawals and sit at my kitchen table and try to convince me that your children are Satan’s spawn and gripe that you had to clean all three toilets today.” Nobody wants to be that mom. Here’s why you should not only have a hobby but feel no guilt about it.
Finding time to even have a hobby, if the thought of having a hobby has even occurred to you, can be laborious. But, according to Psychology Today, having a hobby is necessary and must be made time for. In fact it can help structure your time. Parkinson’s law states that “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” That means, according to psychologist, Jaime L Kurtz Ph.D, that means “More simply, things take as much time as you have.” So if you don’t make any scheduled time to have hobbies, you won’t.
Guilt can be an inhibitor from allowing you to even make time for a hobby. What about your children? What if they need you? Those are valid concerns but you would be doing them and yourself a favor if you were to take up a hobby. According to mommy blogger, Britt Reints, “Having a hobby of your own, something that you dedicate time and energy to, replenishes what work and family drains. It makes you better able to go back into the trenches and give some more. It’s like saying thank you to yourself for all you do until your kids are old enough to say it.” With any tremendous amount of responsibility, it helps to have some activity to alleviate any pressure and stress in order to keep sane.
Hobbies are also great to retain a sense of identity. Mum Rx, a blog dedicated to motherhood, says, “A hobby can help you maintain your separate identity as a real person and not just as Mom. This models healthy habits and boundaries for our kids.” This can help treat depression that is commonly associated with motherhood. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that women are more likely to be depressed if they are a teen mom or if they are a mother to multiple children but especially twins or triplets. In these specific cases, it is even more necessary to have a hobby to keep emotional and mental health up.
Lastly, it’s imperative that you, as a person and not just a mother, grow. Humans are like plants, if we’re not growing, we’re dying. Hobbies are a way to become a more layered and interesting individual. Jaime L Kurtz Ph.D emphasizes that “They add layers to your identity, richness to your self-concept. People want to be around those with passions, with a sense of curiosity, with stories to tell. You not only feel more inspired when you have a rich and active life, but you will inspire others as well.” No one, especially no mother, wants their lives and their purpose to be solely tied into being a mother. Kim Kardashian, mother of two, said on her show Keeping Up With The Kardashians, “Some people are like, ‘Aren’t you a mom?’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah it doesn’t mean you shrivel up and die.‘”
Being a mom is a rewarding venture, but womanhood doesn’t end once you give life to another human. Follow you passions not for just them but for you. You deserve it.
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