Relationships October 14, 2020
Scavenge the tips, tricks, and gifts below.
Image via Unsplash / Jennifer BurkWhen a friend moves away and you’ve found yourself in a long-distance friendship, it’s like a breakup you never expected. But it doesn’t have to be the end.
You’re supposed to be BFFs, but suddenly forever seems much more challenging. Some people are in our lives for only a season, so the separation appears manageable, but what about those friends you know deep down are your soulmate?
The friend you can’t imagine surviving without?
Your person.
Luckily, this survival guide comes with a first-aid kit. It’s stocked with one bottle of medication, some band-aids to keep long-distance friendships healthy, a compass to “navigate” your bond, and “in case of emergency” plans. With this kit, you can survive even the toughest terrain.
In person, we make time for our friends. Whether you’re grabbing coffee or going out to get cocktails, why not do the same over video chat?
A study by Paola P. Soto Herrara showed that, “New forms of communicating such as CMC [computer-mediated communication] were popular, but the telephone exceeded other channels.”
So basically, call your friend! Facetime them. Use Facebook Messenger video chat, Skype, or WhatsApp. There are plenty of live chat paths. All you need to do is answer the call.
Don’t cancel! Even when the internet connection is shotty. Even when you’re “tired.” Don’t let these moments slip by; just relax and enjoy your time together.
Plan movie dates. Go to your prospective theaters, sync up the times according to your time zones, and then talk after the movie.
Also, you don’t need to leave your home to share this time together. You can easily pick a movie like “Someone Great” from Netflix, or a TV show like “Sex and the City” on HBO. Talk on the phone during your friendship movie date, or text when a funny moment happens.
This is merely another avenue to keep your conversations going; to hold on to that connection.
One of the best things about friends living elsewhere is that you can visit! Save up your money, set up the time, and then travel over to your friend to see what their life is like in this new place. Then, they reciprocate.
Or you could plan a trip together, and meet halfway between your homes!
It doesn’t have to be a long trip. It could be an impromptu mini-vacation! Whatever trip it is, spending it together is the essential part.
Everyone loves gifts.
A piece of jewelry. A scratch-off world map. Or perhaps tell your friend not to worry about dinner, and order them a surprise meal. In fact, if you both participate in dinner roulette, you can set a time to enjoy dinner together.
Send your friend something they would like, or see below for some awesome long-distance friendship gifts.
All the above suggestions aside, there’s more to friendship than staying in touch.
A good tool for navigation is a compass. And the compass of friendship is honesty.
Protein Agency and Snap Inc. undertook a study that found, “‘Honesty’ and ‘authenticity’ are the most important qualities of a best friend and ‘having a large social network to tap into’ is of least importance when making friends.”
Honesty can stretch from talking about your life’s roller coasters, to communicating what is or isn’t working in your friendship.
If it seems like you’re losing your friendship, maybe it’s time to be honest with one another. Maybe the supplies from the first-aid kit above will help, or perhaps it’s time to let the friendship ride out its course.
Sometimes it’s easy to be intentional about the time spent and the effort made to keep in touch with our friends, but occasionally we need to battle harder to achieve friendship goals.
Even then, it may not work, causing a DNR friendship move.
You and your friend’s goals may not line up anymore, but this isn’t bad. Rachel Wilkerson Miller, an author and deputy editor at “Life-VICE,” suggests in her book, The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People, that “It just means this friendship isn’t meant to be, or isn’t meant to progress past a certain point–which is fine!”
It’s okay if your friendship moves into a purely social media category. Or maybe it ultimately ends. It hurts, but you can survive it.
Not all long-distance friendships end. Many perform hardcore friend CPR, and thrive in overcoming the distance. However, you’re not always able to be there for one another like you hope. That’s when a long-distance inspired gift can help the other know you’re still friends, and you’re not giving up!
Here are suggestions on great long-distance friendship gifts:
1. Filimin Friendship Lamps – $170
While expensive, this gift is fantastic to see in action! These lamps light up based on who touched it. Your friend might choose the color purple for the lamps, and when she touches it, both lamps will turn purple. So when you see it, you know she’s thinking of you, and then vice versa. Multiple lamps can be connected for friend groups too.
2. Friendship Knows No Distance Spa Box – $42
Beautiful and fragrant! This spa care package includes a candle, a box of matches, body butter, a bath bomb or loofah soap, lip balm, perfume, tea and sweetener, and a personalized message on a card. You may choose from an assortment of scents.
3. Personalized Friendship Mugs – $24.99
These personalized mugs can be customized so the girls look like you and your friend, and you can add a quote for emotional impact! Some quotes are especially for long-distance friendships!
4. Mushion: Personalized Face Pillow – $24
Try this custom pillow you can plaster your face on. Now your friend can have your beautiful face while she or he watches TV or does work. It’s a little creepy but a whole lot of fun.
Long-distance friendships can be sustainable. You only need to put in the effort and find the fun in them. Good luck surviving!
