Patience is not something anyone is born with. It’s also not something that magically happens to people once they become parents. Patience is something that has to be taught as a person grows up. If you didn’t have patience before motherhood and then gave birth to an equally or more impatient baby, struggles will inevitably arise. As mothers, women not only need patience, they’re expected to have patience. Though no one is born with patience, it can be taught through experience and, unsurprisingly having more kids.
When someone is patient, it means they are “able to remain calm and not become annoyed when waiting for a long time or when dealing with problems or difficult people” as defined by Merriam-Webster. As most moms know automatically, this is essential. You don’t always remember the times your parents were patient with you, but you definitely remember the times when they weren’t. They may have yelled at you, snapped at you or grimaced deeply at a decision you made. When your kids are driving you crazy with their constant questions or their insistence on running around naked or their constant need for attention, it can be tough to remain calm. Though losing your cool every so often is human, it wouldn’t be healthy if it happened all the time.
Instead of wearing frustration like an itchy sweater your grandmother gave you, Judith Orloff M.D. Urges more people to embrace the freedom of patience. She says, “Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act.” And according to Babble.com, Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the Massachusetts Medical Center surmises has found that by practicing mindfulness—the art of bringing our full attention to bear on the moment at hand—you can’t help but cultivate patience. “If you take care of the present moment, then you’re more likely to let future moments unfold without pushing through to them.”
Patience allows the person utilizing it to be a little more aware of their surroundings. It can also allow a mother to get to know her children a little better. Writer Susan Spicer points out in her article “The Patient Parent,” “Sometimes choosing patience isn’t a matter so much of defusing frustration or anger. Rather, it’s choosing to pay attention to our kids because we want them to know we value their interests and concerns.” When patience it utilized, it can open so many doors to peace and calm. That doesn’t mean it won’t get lost every so often but it will mean that you will have a better time holding on to it. Not only will you benefit but your kids will too and what’s more important than that?
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