Relationships June 18, 2018
Rejection is only temporary.
Online dating has become the new trend for putting yourself out there. Instead of meeting your date in person, you can swipe left for anyone you feel isn’t worth your time. From the safety of your home, you can cautiously select your dates and avoid the creeps. Online dating gives us the power to decide who we want to give our attention to.
However, this same tool could also be affecting your mood and self-esteem.
But how could something so beneficial also hinder confidence?
Well, apparently individuals who use dating apps have lower self-esteem than those who don’t, at least according to a CNN study focusing on Tinder.
“As a result of how the app works and what it requires of its users, people who are on Tinder after a while may begin to feel depersonalized and disposable in their social interactions, develop heightened awareness (and criticism) of their looks and bodies and believe that there is always something better around the corner, or rather, with the next swipe of their screen, even while questioning their own worth,” study author Jessica Strübel wrote.
Although you can save yourself the embarrassment of being “ghosted” in person, the rejection hurts all the same.
“Social rejection and physical pain are similar not only in that they are both distressing, they share a common representation in somatosensory brain systems as well,” the study’s authors wrote. Rejection can leave us feeling sick or like we’ve just been punched in the stomach. It sucks and it hurts.
Despite this fact, there are ways that you can combat the despair caused by online dating. The Guardian Soulmates offer a few ways to overcome depression caused by online dating.
Just because one person swiped left doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Maybe you are each looking for different things. Maybe there was a lack of attraction. Everyone has their own preferences when looking for that special someone. Don’t take the rejection personally. Just think: A rejection today could save you from a failed relationship tomorrow.
Although your date may have rejected you, you still have people who love you for you. Remember, your family and friends love you for the person you are. As long as you have them in your corner, you’ll be okay.
Don’t put all of your plans for the future into one date. Although they may look great online, they could be completely different in person. They might also think the same about you. So don’t allow yourself to dream up a happily ever after off a picture. If you’re rejected by one date, go on another.
Nothing is ever easy. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find what you’re looking for. Don’t allow the rejection to make you fearful of putting yourself out there. Just because you didn’t click with one person doesn’t mean there’s no one for you. If you don’t experience the bad, how will you know what you’re looking for? Hold your head up and keep trying.
You won’t always be in this stage of your life. Eventually you will forget all about this pain, especially if you do meet that special someone. This feeling of despair is only temporary. As you continue to move forward and put your energy into other things, that feeling of rejection will be a thing of the past.
So instead of allowing yourself to wallow in the rejection of a dating app connection, focus on the positive and know it’s only temporary.
