Relationships June 19, 2017
The power to kill through text.
A woman has been convicted of involuntary manslaughter due to text messages she sent the victim.
The victim was her boyfriend, and after her encouragement, he took his own life via carbon monoxide poisoning.
After several failed attempts to convince him to visit a mental hospital, she decided she may as well jump on board with his desires, and began supporting his decision to take his own life. And not long after, his body was found in a truck in vacant parking lot.
Sometimes girlfriends hold the characteristics of an unhealthy maternal figure, let’s call this Norma Bate-ism. They go out of their way to help their partners no matter the circumstances. This particular girlfriend tried to convince her boyfriend to go to a mental hospital and after he had declined several times, for much more serious help.
Then when he shared his frustration over the best way to commit suicide… not only did she help, but she encouraged him to do it.
When a person in a relationship uses their partner as their only source of reference or advice, it can lead to being misinformed. It’s healthy to seek advice from others and use other resources to verify the truth.
The young man depended on this girl to help with everything. She turned into his personal death coach who pushed him to go through with the act through many encouragements to “do it” and “stop pushing it off”. She seemed more worried about being the most encouraging girlfriend than the most helpful — and you know, of keeping him alive.
There were tons of other options she could have shared, that would have focused his attention on getting better over ending his life. However, it seemed that whichever direction he was leading, she made sure that she was on board and steering the ship in that way.
We do not realize how much power we hold in a relationship. We hold the power to assist our partners with making many life-changing decisions — from advice about jobs, marriage, family, careers and even faith.
Think clearly about advice given. Do not feel the need to come up with a resolution for everything just because you’re in the relationship. You don’t have to be the final say on anything. It’s okay to not have all the answers. No one does!
Encourage your partner to use other resources such as the internet, their family, friends or colleagues for advice. It’s nice to find “the one” but try not to be any person’s only one.
Our words are certainly golden, but they are not the only words that matter. Although we want to be there for our partners, we must remember we are not all therapists and cannot help with all deeply-rooted issues.
