Let’s Talk About *Real* Relationship Goals

What does it even mean to have relationship goals?

For most, it means those corny stock pictures on Tumblr with vague quotes, like “when he touches your hair” or something. But let’s be honest… these relationship goals are basically generic clips for Hollywood video montages. What do long-term relationship goals look like?

Let us introduce you to the first respectful guy you will ever date. But be warned — after dating him, your relationship goals will never be the same.

1 He listens to you, even if what you’re saying is really not important.

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It’s unnerving. He is completely focused when you tell him something important — he doesn’t even glance at his phone when it buzzes. But get this — he’s still focused if you’re just rambling about flats giving you bunions and soda giving you toothaches. How is this possible? Is he possessed?

2 He opens doors and does not expect a gift basket full of sexual favors.

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Once you saw him grab the door of your Honda, you immediately prepared for the knowing glance. You know the “my shining moment of chivalry is good for one inappropriate advance in the next 24 hours” look? It doesn’t happen! He just smiles and continues on with his day! What is this?

3 He keeps pursuing you, even when you’re, like, not going anywhere.

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This is a particularly shocking aspect of dating a respectful guy. After you have been exclusive for a while, he’ll still do things to win you over, like sending you sweet texts throughout the day or buying you flowers. Even if a Hallmark-sponsored romance holiday is nowhere in sight. 

You keep reminding him that he has acquired your affection, and that he’s good-to-go. You thank him, but then secretly think to yourself, maybe he’s had an aneurysm of some kind?

4 He is patient, even when you are chronically late to everything.

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Although you originally planned to leave at 7:30, your primping has kept you until 7:45. But it’s not your fault — your left eyeliner is not matching the right one, and it’s a huge problem (it’s definitely your fault).

Nevertheless, he waits patiently in the living room, gently reminding you of the time when it’s necessary. You don’t even deserve kindness at this point. Seriously, is he on something?

5 When you need your time and space, he gives you time and space.

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This is one of the most mind-blowing aspects of dating a respectful guy. You know those days when you don’t want anyone touching you, breathing next to you or just generally being near you? He understands that — and doesn’t even complain! He just says “cool” and does his own thing. You even had an argument prepared that you didn’t need. How was that so easy?

This might seem impossible. It’s tempting to aim lower with your relationship goals, because real gentlemen don’t exactly grow on trees. However, the one described here is a real, breathing human being, not just a Nicholas Sparks concept.

And although no guy is perfect, a lack of respect is a serious deal breaker.

So make like Aretha Franklin and demand some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, ladies. A jerk is not worth your time.