Relationships April 10, 2017
Photographed by Stephanie Guttenplan. Styled by Orchard Corset.LOS ANGELES – Geneviève LeJeune likes to have sex with other women, but doesn’t need to label her sexuality.
“I find it frustrating that we have to put ourselves in a box,” LeJeune says. “My sexuality has changed consistently throughout my life, depending on my age, my environment and the type of people who surround me.”
LeJeune, 35, is currently married to a man but deeply understands the restricting nature of labeling. “It’s complicated and it’s not traditional at all to say, ‘Hey today I’m not straight,'” she explains. “Even though it’s nothing new, it’s a concept that’s hard for the public and for people themselves to grasp and digest.”
And she, from experience, knows the kind of psychological upset people go through when they lack a sense of belonging. Oftentimes, society pressures its members to feel like they need to fit in somewhere.
For this reason, she abandoned her journalism career at Bloomberg TV to commit to Skirt Club, which she describes as an “underground community for girls who play with girls.” Aged between 18 (21 in the U.S.) and 49, members are traditionally feminine, intelligent, career women.
The premise of Skirt Club builds on the shifting societal standards about sexuality. Nowadays – and LeJeune thanks millennials for this – more and more people refuse to say they’re strictly heterosexual or homosexual. In a recent YouGov study of British and American young adults, researchers found that around 40 percent of the younger generation place their sexuality on a non-binary level.
I suppose that I have to say that I’m bisexual because I’m running a company for bisexual women. But I actually Dislike saying that because I’m just me. I know that’s not easy for people to understand if they don’t know me. But that’s the only way I can explain it.
When establishing Skirt Club, LeJeune simply wanted to meet other women who, like her, are predominantly heterosexual but definitely bicurious. Many of her current members are even in exclusive relationships with men.
This business plan, however, leaves Skirt Club susceptible to a number of criticisms from the LGBTQ community. For one, people have said that it’s encouraging open lesbians to go back into the closet. “It’s lesbianism as a side piece,” Breena Kerr from Rolling Stone posits. “It’s lesbianism: our little secret, for women whose bi-curiosity has become too overwhelming to ignore.”
But LeJeune and many of the attendees would argue otherwise.
Skirt Club is meant to be more than just a knockoff version of the stereotypical college lesbian experiment. Instead, it’s a place free of compartmentalization, expectations and labels.
Skirt Club is meant to push back against the notion that you need to be part of a certain stereotype. It’s an argument against the idea that your identity isn’t legitimate because society doesn’t understand it. Whether you’re a Christian lesbian, a pro-life feminist or a bicurious woman in Skirt Club, LeJeune sees you.
This is why she hates even having to label herself as bisexual. “I suppose that I have to say that I’m bisexual because I’m running a company for bisexual women. But I actually dislike saying that because I’m just me,” she says. “And I know that’s not easy for people to understand if they don’t know me. But that’s the only way I can explain it.”
I didn’t see any women fucking men. I didn’t see women taking charge of how they want to Have sex. They simply felt obliged to do it and that had to stop.
In fact, Skirt Club is more of an environment of female empowerment than one of shallow sexual escapades.
“It was never just about sex,” LeJeune explains adamantly. This is why it comes last at these events.
For the most part, Skirt Club is a place of intimate and intellectual interactions. Many women who attend are lawyers or businesswomen, all intrigued by one another’s personal stories, motivations and desires. But most importantly, Skirt Club is an environment free from judgment and safe for experimentation. It’s a place where women can explore their sexuality on their own terms.
In LeJeune’s previous experiences at play parties, she says, “I didn’t see any women fucking men. I didn’t see women taking charge of how they want to have sex. They simply felt obliged to do it and that had to stop.”
Not only that, but she comes from a place where her former boyfriend fetishized her sexuality. Though he was the first person who encouraged her to explore her attraction to women, he became obsessed with threesomes. “He wanted to to do it every weekend and I no longer felt comfortable with that experience,” she adds.
Unfortunately, many women she meets find themselves in similar situations. Some of those women have asked her to take part in threesomes for the sole purpose of pleasing their boyfriends. But to that, LeJeune replies, “No. Please yourself.”
I feel that if women could be more confident, then they could be more successful. And if I could give it to them in this way, then I was doing a good thing.
As a result, the Skirt Club experience often translates into a complete understanding of your womanhood.
For LeJeune and many women like her, they experience a confidence boost in all aspects of their lives. To her, confidence in the bedroom has translated to confidence and success in the boardroom.
“The more sexually confident I was, the more risks I took and the less I cared about what people thought of me. That eventually led to more job satisfaction,” she says. “I feel that if women could be more confident, then they could be more successful. And if I could give it to them in this way, then I was doing a good thing.”
On top of that, because Skirt Club prides itself in creating a safe sexual environment, many women have even used it as a source of healing.
Other than the general “thanks I get to be me” emails LeJeune receives, she says there are many members who have opened up about some sort of sexual assault or trauma.
“I’m very close to a couple of people who have been through that. Skirt Club is a soft, no pressure way of getting back into feeling sexual,” she shares. “This is not therapy and we’re not claiming it to be, but I think it’s a way to learn how to get control back in a sexual environment. It’s a way that gives you courage to go forward and hopefully have a healthy sexual relationship with somebody.”
This is not therapy and we’re not claiming it to be, but I think it’s a way to learn how to get control back in a sexual environment. It’s a way that gives you courage to go forward and hopefully have a healthy sexual relationship with somebody.
But regardless of the reason women choose to come to Skirt Club, it remains an environment founded on respect – respect for other women and, most importantly, respect for yourself.
And while this type of business may attract a certain type of crowd – one that may treat lesbianism and bisexuality as a shallow experiment – that’s not what Skirt Club is about. As cliché as it may sound, for LeJeune and her members, this experience has been about truly discovering and empowering themselves.
“I know myself and it’s so grounding. I never doubt myself and I’m never unsure,” she says. “I’m proud of that.”
