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Mentorship December 17, 2016
So you got the job that you wanted, but there’s just one problem: You see your boss on every family holiday, on weekend barbecues and birthday celebrations. When you’re working for a family member, it’s hard to ignore your preexisting relationship. And what makes it even worse are the whispers you imagine about nepotism, favoritism and how you “don’t deserve the job.”
You know that’s not the case – you know that you deserve your position. But how do you prove that to everyone else? To avoid tiptoeing around your colleagues for the rest of your time at the company, here are some tips to help you.
If you want other people to stop considering your relationship with your boss, then you need to ditch that relationship as well. If your boss is your mother, for instance, agree to leave your mother-child relationship at home. At work, she is your boss and you refer to her, respect her and treat her the way other colleagues would.
READ MORE: Slay Your Pay: Negotiating the Salary You Deserve
This goes hand in hand with the first tip. As The Muse writes, “In order to get a promotion, you need to actually be worth it. Don’t walk around with the air that you deserve it, because that sense of entitlement is going to get you nowhere.” This kind of arrogance will only foster resentment among your coworkers. Arrogance on its own is a sour attitude, but arrogance backed up with a familial relationship is a recipe for disaster. Let your work – not your words – speak for itself.
As Maureen Henderson says on Forbes, “Rather than being the jack-of-all trades, figure out your company’s weakness and exploit it … Get good at what everyone else isn’t good at.” Being valuable doesn’t mean you do everything until you get overworked and overwhelmed. Every person has a specific role in a company’s team. Find yours without depending on your boss and using your familiar relationship to your advantage.
Whenever there’s a meeting, be attentive and present. Showing your coworkers that you are a good listener will show them how seriously you take the job. The Muse even suggests taking notes because “taking the time to write things down is especially helpful, as it gives you a minute to process your instructions and think of any questions you need to ask then and there.”
READ MORE: Lacking Motivation? Here’s How You Can Still Succeed
You didn’t get hired for the job to be a benchwarmer. Everyone in the company has a different perspective to offer, so offer yours. If you’re in a team meeting and your boss is asking for potential solutions, contribute to the conversation. Additionally, if you see a potential problem, then propose a potential solution. The Muse says, “Come up with new and successful ideas on your own and take initiative to do something we already do and do it better without being asked.”
The way you speak and act are stringently examined by everyone else in the room because being related to the boss only magnifies your actions. U.S. News suggests “dropping the defensiveness,” paying attention to your tone of voice and getting rid of fillers like “um” and “I think.” When you speak, you should sound secure, confident and respectful.
Additionally, don’t inflect the end of your sentences with a higher pitch. This way of speaking, known as uptalk, makes everything sound like a question. LinkedIn reports that 85 percent of 700 professional believe “uptalk is a clear indicator of a person’s insecurity and emotional weakness.”
According to Business Insider, “Posture can influence the way others see you and the way you feel.” If you sit hunched over your laptop, for instance, you won’t feel very confident and other people may see you as closed off. But if you carry yourself with an “expansive pose” like the classic power pose, Business Insider says this can “activate your hormone system in a way that makes you feel and look more confident and capable. But be careful not to look too haughty because that could cause your coworkers to blame your relationship with your boss for your attitude.
READ MORE: 5 Tips Every Successful Businesswoman Should Know to Get Ahead
Bustle says, “If you’re finding it hard to be taken seriously at work, take your game up a notch. Don’t just come into a meeting or a project pitch with your facts and your notes, but come in with guns a-blazing.” Put 100 percent into everything you do because your dedication will show. According to Bustle, if you have a big pitch meeting coming up, know the message you are trying to deliver. Additionally, anticipate any questions, objections and concerns. According to Business Insider, doing this will “not only [help] your ideas be stronger, but you’ll feel more confident presenting them.”
It’s hard to make a good impression on your boss and coworkers in general, but it becomes especially more difficult when there are people who think you don’t deserve it because of your relationship to your boss. But little things like being prepared, confident and present can go a long way when you’re trying to show your value to the team.
