Relationships July 5, 2017
Trusting people can be hard. But we have a solution.
Photo via Instagram / @fedeflowaTrusting people is hard. Everyone is constantly walking around with baggage. From negative experiences to traumatic childhoods, trust issues are a pretty common thing. And with the rise of social media, it can be even harder to trust the people around you.
But thankfully, there is a solution.
Here at ENTITY, we did our research to find out why people have trust issues and what we can do to solve our own problems and help others.
Trust issues can affect multiple areas of your life.
Relationships: Issues in relationships are often caused by infidelity. But they can also be a projection of past experiences. And other times, they’re just signs of insecurities. Often, the people having trouble trusting others are insecure about something in their own lives. These insecurities are often emphasized if there is a lack of intimacy in the relationship.
Family: Issues with family extend beyond wanting to keep your life private. And they aren’t just about not wanting to tell your parents everything. They often stem from being abandoned or hurt emotionally as a child. But sometimes, they can also be triggered if you don’t feel accepted by your parents or siblings.
Friends: Issues with friends are caused by many factors; some of the most prominent are due to cattiness and talking trash behind each other’s backs. Trust issues develop between two people when you no longer feel like that person is reliable. And it can also be a question of whether or not they have your best interest in mind.
Trust is a tricky topic in psychology because it takes years to develop but it can get destroyed in a second.
The psychology behind trust issues explains that people often have trouble with individuals and organizations they originally trusted. Why? A negative experience changes their perspective and taints future trust for similar individuals or organizations later in life.
This also explains why adults who witnessed divorce or abuse in the household, often have trust issues later in life.
But, trust issues can also develop from experiences in adulthood too. Injustice and loss of resources often lead to a distrust of authority. It also pits people against government organizations.
The issue with rebuilding trust is once people get hurt they are reluctant to let their guard down. And they can’t stop questioning if they will get hurt again or if everyone is out to get them.
There is definitely a problem when you face constant lying from multiple people in your life. When this happens, you can develop extreme trust issues.
But it’s seriously not good if you can’t trust anyone. This can make you paranoid that everyone is out to get you. And when everyone seems like the enemy, it’s easier to just stop trying at all.
In the long run, extreme trust issues limit you from engaging in healthy, long-lasting relationships. This, in turn, can lead to loneliness, depression and even thoughts of suicide.
Getting rid of your trust issues isn’t always straight forward, but these are some steps to get you started:
First, understand that people with trust issues don’t want to push people away. They are trying, so you should try too. Let them know they are loved and give them space when necessary.
Support this individual, but don’t try to fix their problems. The goal is to let them know you are here if you need them; they will have to deal with painful pasts or negative experiences when they are ready.
Also be patient and reassure them often that they are making progress. And please, don’t lie to them. They’ve been through enough already.
At the end of the day, remember that trust issues are common. But this doesn’t mean you should get used to them. Try to keep moving forward to a better you.
