window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'G-GEQWY429QJ');

 

Entity reports on the facts about women's attraction to older men.

We all know the Melania and Donald Trump relationship stereotype – a young, beautiful woman paired up with an older, more mature man. But what’s the true meaning behind why some women are attracted to an older gentleman?

While you could refer to the senior gentlemen as “sugar daddies” or “father figures,” these terms reek of oversimplified stereotypes. Women seek older men for diverse reasons, many of which have nothing to do with money or “daddy issues.” They often desire a partner who is wise and influential that they admire and who respects them.

Turns out that when young women think of older men, they think of security. With the development rate of a man’s maturity being significantly more delayed than a woman’s, it may seem natural for women to look for a man that matches or exceeds their personal maturity level.

READ MORE: How to Know if Your Relationship is Puppy Proof

The appeal of the older gentleman may be stronger for women in their twenties dealing with personal and professional instability. As Karley Sciortino – Vogue columnist – puts it, older men can make the chaotic lives of these women seem more settled. When reflecting on her past relationship with an older man, Sciortino noted that her usual “panicked” demeanor faded into a “relaxed” mood.

“While I was with this man, all my life’s responsibilities seemed to momentarily disappear,” Sciortino says. “I knew he would pick up the check, get us home, that his sheets would be clean, and that in the morning he’d make me coffee and eggs, kiss me, and hand me money for a cab. Essentially, I was ‘taken care of.'”

Scorpion points out that her lover’s age made him less selfish and more committed. Escaping the wild self-discovery phase, many older gentlemen have a more established career and more time and energy to dedicate to a partner. This makes many women feel special, valued and safe. Yet this self-professed feminist also argues the relationship also offered emotional stability.

READ MORE: How to Date on a Budget

“Honestly, it wasn’t about money, or trying to set myself up for a life of leisure,” she continues. “Rather, I was beginning to see the benefits of dating someone at a different stage of life than myself – someone more world-wise, who isn’t a ragingly insecure, impoverished megalomaniac with two stoner roommates (as most of my twentysomething lovers seem to be), who already has a life set up that has room for me.”

Marriage and family expert Dr. Paul Hokemeyer echoes this sentiment and points out the older man’s confidence often appeals to these women.

“The truth of the matter is that older men come with maturity, grace and dignity,” Hokemeyer told Fox News Magazine. “They value their younger mates and treat them with more respect … This maturity is not tied to financial success – it comes from simply being at a secure place in their lives from having lived in the world longer.”

A slightly more superficial reason? Dating an older man makes some women feel more attractive, especially in our ageist society. Joanna Goddard – a writer for Glamour – argues for the age gap by drawing on her own experience dating a man 13 years her senior.

“Perhaps the biggest reason I like dating an older man is the way it makes me feel,” Goddard writes. “No matter how wrinkled I get, I’ll always be 13 years his junior. When he’s 83, I’ll be a wizened 70. But in Alex’s eyes, I’ll still be his hot young wife.”

READ MORE: 4 Reasons to Date a Sensitive Man

While many of these relationships do not stem from a woman’s troubled upbringing, the issue is impossible not to address. 

Unfortunately, an absentee father could be the underlying explanation as to why some women find older men so magnetic. A young girl without a father doesn’t have a father figure to care for her emotionally and financially. As a result, she may try to fill this void in her adult relationships.

Yet sometimes the “father figure” trope may be more positive than negative. The notion of dating (or marrying) people similar to your parents turns out to have some truth to it. “Some women feel that their fathers were exceptional and provided them with everything they needed,” Hokemeyer added. “Therefore, they seek out mates who share the very qualities they valued in their fathers.”

However, the decision to chose an romantic partner like her father could also stem from their mother’s choices they experienced when they were child. “Father absence, due to death or divorce, in early adolescence can contribute to certain behavioral problems, but the cliché that young girls seek a father figure when they date older men has more to do with them mirroring their mother’s behavior than replacing the father they lost,” psychologist Dr. Cooper Lawrence told Fox News Magazine.

No matter the reason, women shouldn’t be afraid to go after what they want – whether it’s an apartment, a career or an older gentleman. If a more mature man treats you as his equal, he’s definitely a keeper.

READ MORE: 6 Signs Your New Boyfriend Is Ready to Meet Your Parents

Edited by Natalie Cahill
Send this to a friend