Regardless of what kind of sex you enjoy or how often you like it, unexpected pain during sex is never fun. But before you start freaking out, know this: painful sex isn’t uncommon. In fact, 1 in 10 women report feeling pain while they’re gettin’ it on.
Yet, just because pain is common doesn’t mean that it’s OK. Sex is meant to be enjoyable – for you and your partner. So what’s a girl to do?
Here are five tricks and treatments to consider if sex hurts.
If sex is hurting, vaginal dryness is the most likely problem, says to Dr. Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University. While the causes of dryness can vary – ranging from meds to age – there’s an easy fix: lube.
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Simply add water-based lube to your foreplay and sexy times. You always want to use water-based or silicone-based lube to avoid breakage when you’re using condoms, but feel free to experiment with different brands until you find the right one for you.
Besides lowering pain in sex, one study also found that lube increased women’s pleasure and comfort 70 percent of the time. Talk about a two-for-one deal!
As crazy as it sounds, magnets might be the secret weapon you’re looking for if you’re one of the tens of millions of American women who suffer from vulvodynia. This understudied condition causes pain in the vulva, and has no medically-proven cure.
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However, one woman, Tara Langdale-Schmidt, decided to take her health into her own hands (literally) by experimenting with therapeutic magnets.
The benefits of therapeutic magnets aren’t yet supported by science, but after Tara used a homemade vaginal dilator (a dildo-like tool used to stretch the pelvic flood muscles and treat various vaginal issues) with magnets several times a day, her pain drastically decreased.
Now Tara sells her homemade dilator through her company, VuVatech.
More research needs to be done, but one double-blind study reported that 80 percent of the 24 women who tried using the dilators experienced a reduction in pain. Maybe Tara’s idea is so crazy … it actually works!
If you notice that most of the pain occurs during penetration, you might want to talk to your doctor about possibly having vaginismus.
Vaginismus is a condition in which the muscles that surround the vaginal canal involuntarily spasm. Sometimes, the spasms have a psychological cause, such as anxiety from a sexual assault or a controlling relationship. Other times, vaginismus can occur because of urinary tract infections, STDs or endometriosis.
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One common treatment for vaginismus are the infamous Kegel exercises. Basically, these involve intentionally tightening and loosening your pelvic floor muscles. As you gain more control over your lady parts, you’ll be able to relax the muscles around the vagina so that penetration can occur more easily.
As an added bonus, research has also found that Kegel exercises can increase your bathroom control (which is especially handy after childbirth!), increase the ease of delivering a baby and even boost your orgasms. Score!
If your state recently legalized medical (or recreational) marijuana, you’re in luck: weed is the new Viagra for men and women. (Well, mostly anyway).
Research first began looking at marijuana in the 1970s and 80s, when studies found that marijuana functioned not only as an aphrodisiac, but also enhanced touch, increased intimacy, boosting orgasm intensity and basically made sex better in general. Since then, marijuana has also become a tool for treating various sexual dysfunctions, including pain during sex.
There are also various ways about incorporating weed into your bedroom activities. For instance, you might want to try Floria’s pot-infused lubricant. Spraying yourself with it before sex may sound a little strange, but women’s testimonials imply that this lubricant does way more than just reduce dryness. Keep your eyes peeled for progress by SC Labs too, which is working on a pain-relieving gel that could work as well as massaging oil and other weed-packed products.
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If you’re experiencing pain during sex because of menopause, you might also want to talk to your doctor about medication like:
Estrogen creams and pills like these can also be given if you struggle with vulvar vestibulitis, or inflammation around the vaginal opening. If endometriosis is found to be the cause of your pain, you might also be prescribed meditation or undergo surgical procedures to remove abnormal uterine tissue.
Regardless of why you’re experiencing pain when you have sex, it’s not fun and it’s not OK. Talk to your partner and your doctor and find a treatment that works for you.
