Having kids, like any other major decision in a woman’s life, needs lots of time and consideration before deciding one way or the other. But how do you actually know when you’re ready to bring a beautiful bouncing baby into the world? Do you depend on your parent’s time line? Do you listen to your partner’s wishes? Your biological clock? How do you really know? Though I can’t tell you exactly when you will be ready, I can tell you when you might be ready.
You got baby fever. As a woman, I need to address this first and foremost. Baby fever, is not the only flag that tells you you need to have a baby. When I was in college, not yet engaged, I had the worst case of baby fever. I loved the look of them, their laughs, their smiles, and their sweet little feet. I felt as though my body was screaming at me to get pregnant, but I was in no way ready for that kind of life altering decision. I had a part time job and my, at the time boyfriend, also had a part time job. Neither of us had a place to live, nor did we have a plan on how we would care for this baby. If I would have relied on baby fever alone, I would have a three year old child right now and would have been grossly unprepared for it.
The baby fever last longer than a few weeks. When I had baby fever, it lasted about a month. After that, I was over it. It was how I knew, for sure, that I wasn’t truly ready to have a child. But if your baby fever persists over 6 months or even a year, you might want to consider having a child. Similar to the tattoo rule, if you still want it a year from now, then get it.
You see your friends and family having babies and it makes you cry wanting to have one yourself. When you want to get married, it seems like all you see on Facebook is everyone getting engaged or showing off their marriages. The same thing happens when you want to have a baby. Every mom on Facebook makes you very covetous and sad. You crave to have the adoring looks they give to their babies. You crave to take those cute glamour photos at the mall that other families take and you want so badly to hear your future baby say “mama” for the first time. If you feel any of these impulses, you may be ready for a baby.
Do you believe your partner would be a good parent for your future child? This is a serious question that requires some heavy consideration. Whoever you chose to have a baby with will be connected to not only you but also your child for the rest of your lives whether you two decide to stay together or not. Because of this, you need to determine if your partner, if you have one, would make a good parent. If you don’t have a partner and want to use a sperm doner, the same applies but in a much less prominent way. Your child will still want to know about their father and you’re going to have to explain that to them.
You’ve discussed it with your partner. This is something that is imperative with any couple. You need to let your partner know that you want to have a baby. Once that discussion is on the table, then it’ll define the relationship if you haven’t already. Be warned that if having kids wasn’t previously discussed and you two have differing opinions, it could break the relationship. And don’t be fooled into thinking that you can try to convince your partner to have kids nor can you just let go of your fervent desire to have kids. So make sure you both are on the same page before moving forward with any baby making plans.
Your partner also wants a baby. Discussing having a baby can mean that you have talked about it but your partner wasn’t ready just yet. Ensure that you are open, honest, and patient with your partner when trying to have a baby. If you get pregnant and you partner wasn’t ready, that could cause a strain on your relationship and the relationship with the child.
You’re ready to get rid of any unhealthy habits that will hurt the baby. When your heart eyes are on and all you see are babies and nurseries, you tend not to think about the bad habits you may have that you will need to give up for the baby. Do you smoke? Do you drink? Do you gamble? You have to get rid of those habits as one way or another that will affect the baby. Second hand smoke will harm the babies lungs. If you’re not careful with your alcohol intake then that could also affect the baby. If you gamble, that’s money that could be going to your child. As a parent, you need to put the needs of your child ahead of your own wants and desires.
You and/or your partner are willing to take a hit to your career for your baby. Depending on what you and your partner decide, one or both of you will have to stay with the baby the first few months of his or her life. Due to the lack of empathy for mothers in the corporate America, you will most likely not get paid for maternity leave. So save and be prepared for this financial hit.
Know that you’ll never be “ready.” Life tends not to look the way we think it will look or should look at any particular time. You’ll never have enough money, you’ll never be at that “perfect moment in your career” or any of that. There will always be more you can do. Even if you were to go through this checklist and decide it’s time, you still may not feel ready. Ignore your feelings to a moment and focus on what you know to be true. If you have honestly considered all the possibilities and you still want a baby, then have one. You’re ready.
Sorry, no related posts found.
