Some of the Most Common Dating Rules That Have Recently Changed

It’s no secret that the world was changed forever by the Internet and the rise of social media. Thousands of years ago, going to a small box full of wires and buttons and finding a husband or wife would have seemed ludicrous. However, it’s 2017, and this is the way that it is. But have these advancements in our society advanced dating, or changed the dating rules forever?

What has changed?

1 The blind date is gone forever

Let’s be honest here, have you ever been set up by a friend and the first thing they do while talking about his qualities is pull up his Facebook/Instagram. Of course! It only takes a few clicks to get to know so much about a person you have never met before.

A young female coworker of mine was talking to me about this and she said, “I feel like the whole charade of getting to know each other slowly/being mysterious has gone to the wayside. There’s not as much mystery when I can see your whole life dating back to your buckteeth and braces in 2011 on your middle school Bebo page in one search, you know?” RIP blind dates, you were fun while you lasted.

2 No more formal dates

We live in a society now where we expect instant gratification. If we don’t like something, we move on automatically. The struggle of having to deal with the unknown or uncomfortable has been fixed by so much technology that there is really no need to suffer. I mean, people get uncomfortable ordering pizza over the phone, so now there’s an app for that.

In a similar way, some people don’t want to spend a whole night trying to decide if they want to pursue dating someone. As one of my 20 something female coworkers told me, “It’s acceptable to meet up for coffee or a quick drink if you meet online, rather than going to a formal dinner and movie.” This cuts out all the time waiting for your food and walking to and from a car. Meet for a quick drink for an hour and then decide if you want the date to continue.

3 Meeting someone at a bar is so uncommon

Happening upon a cute guy and asking for his number seems to be a thing of the past now. With Tinder, Bumble, Grindr and about 100 other apps, you can find a date with the swipe of your finger. In this day and age, its not surprising that my 19-year-old friend confessed to me, “I haven’t really dated without the internet.” That sentence would never have been uttered 20 years ago.

4 So many options

Aziz Ansari has some really interesting research in his book “Modern Romance” about how one third of our grandparents’ generation lived within five blocks of the person they ended up marrying. The problem of proximity is no longer an issue. It’s so easy to “match” with so many different people that are outside of your little bubble.

So now, settling is a thing of the past, because the sea is overflowing with fish and if your catch of the day doesn’t cross off all your needs on the checklist, throw if back and keep fishing. If you don’t like someone you were partnered with on the app, you can keep looking. There really is no limit to the number of people looking for love.

5 Wait 3 days = dumped

The Internet is everywhere. There is really no excuse to not be keeping in contact with someone you are interested in. The old fashion “wait three days to call after the first date” is so outdated. Personally, if I don’t get a text at least two hours after I am dropped off at home after a date, saying that he had a nice time, then I have probably already deleted his number and forgot about him.

As one of my friends said, “If you don’t text back within 12 hours then we’re going to have an issue.” Getting to know someone over messaging software is just as important as the date itself. Do not wait, contact immediately.

What has stayed the same?

1 Respect is a must

Just because you have the ability to match with so many singles, doesn’t mean you should. Respecting the person you have chosen to go on a date with is still very important. As my 22-year-old female friend stated, “People should still be respectful of the person they’re dating. Just because connecting with hundreds of people at once is so easy, doesn’t mean you need to connect with a hundred people at once.”

You have chosen to be out with the person sitting across the table from you. Understand that you are still taking time out of her life and you should be 100 percent present with her.

2 Gender roles

Although expecting the man to constantly pay for a meal is kind of selfish, at least for the first date, this is still an unspoken rule. The man should pick the girl up, not order her an Uber. He should open her doors and pull out her seat. And, at least for the first meal/drink, he should pay.

Although the times have changed and a woman should be equally financing the new budding relationship, it still is a huge red flag when the man doesn’t at least offer. Being an independent female is one thing, but a man with manners is never ignored.

3 Have some class

For some reason, men think that it’s okay to message gross things to girls because they aren’t sitting right in front of you. This is not okay. My 23-year-old college friend wrote, “A lot of guys take Tinder/Bumble as an invitation to immediately launch into dirty talk which is so not my style, especially if I literally just said ‘Hi’ to the person and that’s it. Seriously, I’m not a porn chat bot. I think it’s destructive and gross that some guys treat girls on these apps like a free service to get them off.”

Having decorum is still a huge part of dating. Keep it in your pants and know that the messages you are sending are going to a real live human being with feelings. Having class is still a rule that needs to be followed.

4 Being old school is still super romantic

Although the advantages of technology are awesome and super helpful, going back to the good ol’ days of dating can score you huge points. A long text telling a girl how amazing she is, is one thing. But sending her flowers and putting in that extra little bit of effort still goes a long way.

Especially because those sorts of things are so rare. As one 21-year-old coworker wrote, “I prefer letters and conversation. Bring back letter writing!” Being old school might not seem like a rule, but if you follow it like it is one, you will not have a problem finding the one.

5 Ghosting is still a HUGE no

Dropping off the face of the earth and not responding to your date’s messages is one of the worst things a person can do to someone. Just because it’s easier not to respond, doesn’t mean it’s at all the right thing to do.

This goes for ending relationships, too. Breaking up with people face-to-face is the only respectable way to end a romance. Just like number three on the list, having class is still a rule, and disappearing on someone is the least classy way to handle this type of situation.