Being a parent is filled with joy, endless love and lots of laughter and some difficult times here and there. But none of the hard times compare to the feeling of warmth and happiness that generates within you when you see your child smile, hear their laugh or watch them peacefully sleep.
However we know that doesn’t always come as easy as it sounds, caring for your child is a difficult task: they come first. But how do you do that when you yourself need extra-care because you are dealing with a major illness? The last thing you want is to have your child worry about you and how you are doing, they already have so much on their plate growing up in the world today. Added stress, sadness and worry is the last thing you want to bestow upon them.
In the hopes to aid you in living in normalcy, let Entity provide you with the coping skills needed as a mother with a major illness with the help from Molly’s Fund:
Days are long and stressful, some more than others. While your child will starts to notice little things changing about you whether it be a version of you that seems more tired than usual or a little more impatient it’s in both of your best interests to try and keep a steady balance through it all.
Find humor throughout your day, it’s important to laugh about the little things, it will make your day a bit lighter. It’s also important to talk to your child when they have questions about what you’re going through, you can’t avoid it forever.
It’s important to know when enough is enough. If you’re finding your day more stressful or tough than usual, it’s ok to let off of the normal routine. As Molly’s fund states: “If you are having a bad day (or low on“spoons”), order take out for dinner, ignore the dust-bunnies, and let the laundry go unwashed, it can all wait.” Maybe call in some reinforcements to help out: aunts, uncles, cousins, friends anybody. Perhaps they can come over and entertain the little one for a bit or take them out for a movie while you try your best to relax given the circumstances.
In a simple sentence: You are NOT your illness.
Do not let it define you, you are so much more. Strive for positivity, it will benefit both you and your child.
While you may have previously had expectations of what your family life was going to be like, it’s important that you adjust. For starters, not everybody’s life is the same so it’s important to find YOUR normal. Don’t constantly evaluate what your life would have been like if you weren’t ill. As MF states, it doesn’t mean you have to give up your hopes and dreams, you’re just establishing a normal life for your family.
It’s a difficult situation to deal with. While your family is supportive and you are appreciative, they don’t understand on the same level what you are going through. Be open to trying a support group. It’s always nice to know that you’re not alone.
Having a major illness is not something we want, but sometimes unfortunate things happen. It’s important to stay positive and make the best out of the worst situations for both you and your family. Don’t forget to make use of your friends and family, they’re there to help. Keep it up, Supermom!
For more on how to cope, visit: Molly’s Fund
