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ENTITY intern lists the issues with labelling all men as dumb boys.

Thanks to feminists across the nation, the phrase “boys will be boys” will probably cease to exist as popular vernacular. For many years, this expression has disturbingly represented the way our society treats men. Specifically, it excuses damaging behaviors on account of a supposed inability to teach boys to act like anything less than assholes. Finally, it seems we’ve started allowing men to take human responsibility for their actions. In an era when finger pointing is like an Olympic sport, it is more important than ever to hold anyone and everyone accountable for their behaviors, including men.

While we progress in the way that we speak about and to men about unacceptable behaviors, I can’t help but notice a step backward taking place, and one that I too am guilty of taking.

The danger at hand is this phrase’s disguise as a feminist ideal, slipping into the vocabulary of strong and independent women without notice.

While chatting with a friend of mine over dinner, she began to express her recent trials with her brother. She expressed his inability to listen to others, his quick and irrational decision-making and his complete dependence on his parents. Without hesitation, my reaction was, “Boys are so dumb.”

The other day, I reflected with my mother on a memory of an old boyfriend. I recounted my prom night with him, when any cheesy romantic plan he had went very much awry. My mother’s response was, “Boys are idiots.”

In another instance, a gal pal of mine reflected on some of the trials she faced with one of her recent flings, laughing her way through her story. She giggled as she discussed his intense jealousy and obnoxiously possessive behavior. She spurted out with a smile, “Boys are so stupid.”

I started to consider this innate idiocy that women around me have begun to assign to men. In some ways, it feels like a dig aimed at achieving some form of reciprocity for the countless years in which society labeled women as meek minded. Men prevented women from getting an education, withheld them from entering public spheres and blamed any sentence less than pleasing on irrationality due to hormones. It feels only fair that women should get a chance to rag on men’s intelligence for a while.

In another capacity, referring to stupidity as a male quality is a source of quick comfort.

If a man recently broke your friend’s heart, it can feel difficult to find the right words. The easiest option is to account for his actions by pointing out his stupidity. We follow up by looping in all men as fellow fools. Thus, the heartbreak has no relation to your friend or your friend’s actions. It discounts the friend’s responsibility in choosing a partner, because any desired male partner is cursed with the same stupidity. And, most of all, it means he may still have feelings for your friend and is just too stupid to know how to express them. Calling boys idiots as you recover from a breakup is also effective in the healing process. It’s a protective measure. If you know all men are dumb, you’re not so likely to let one get to your heart next time.

In fact, however, the “boys are dumb” epoch is merely a slightly adapted version of “boys will be boys.” In both instances, we choose to ignore the human faults of the men in our lives, attributing any negative actions to a quality that is somehow out of their control. It is just another way we let men get away with harmful behaviors, and it needs to stop. We can be, and, perhaps, should be mad about how men in power have and continue to treat women. That said, we cannot allow our anger to blur our vision. With fury in our eyes, it is much harder to see the transgressions taking place right under our noses.

If women do not see men objectively as equals, society will never hold them to the same standards that we hold for ourselves.

If we stunt men by failing them before we put them to the test, they will never grow to meet our expectations. Feminism is about equality. To be equal, we must hold ourselves accountable for our actions as individuals. If we want the perception of women to be more than skirts and hormones, we need to see men as more than idiots and assholes.

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