An important part of any relationship in communication. You’ve got to be able to communicate even the ugly stuff in order to keep both sides of the relationship on track. But how do you do that without being a nag?
It’s not as hard as it sounds. Dropping subtle clues about what you want, like putting the trash bag by the door, may get your partner to take the hint. But this doesn’t work for the harder stuff. You can’t rely on implications when it comes to your feelings.
If you’re pissed, let them now. Being passive aggressive is much more annoying than telling it like it is. When you’re honest about your feelings, you aren’t nagging. Nagging implies that with all that is being complained about, there is a lingering feeling that not everything is being said. When you’re honest, your partner knows you are saying everything you want to say, so there’s no feeling of insecurity.
For many of our fragile egos, if we’re constantly being criticized for doing something we were asked to do, we might just not do it anymore. Constructive criticism is helpful, of course, but if you’re finding you’re always having problems with what your partner is doing, maybe you should just do it yourself.
You and your partner have your own schedules, your own ideas, your own energy levels. If you want something done right now, don’t expect that your partner should want to do it right now too. This behavior makes people feel like you are controlling their lives as if they are still children.
Instead of acting like you’re perfect, have an open and humble dialogue about what needs to be done that involves both parties. Your partner definitely has things to ask of you too, so make sure you agree mutually to fix your problems.
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