I know, you’ve been dreaming of that fairytale wedding ever since you can remember, and the idea of having the perfect person at your side through the good and bad of life sounds amazing, especially when you know it’s a true commitment because of that ring on your left hand. But guess what? If you’re in your early twenties and already starting to write the guest list to your vintage wedding at that vineyard in Napa Valley, hold up. Here is a list of reasons why there’s no hurry when it comes to putting a ring on it.
Don’t Settle
Probably the biggest and most important reason why settling down and starting a family can wait a while. Do not … I repeat, DO NOT settle for someone who only kinda sorta makes you happy, or who you’re staying with because you think “well, it’s better than being alone.” I promise you, if you decide to marry someone for this reason, your relationship with them down the line will not be the happily ever after you’ve always dreamed of.
Live Your Own Life While You Can
Of course when you’re young, you’re bound to think about mainly yourself and what you want out of life. Especially in your early twenties, you are at the point in your existence when you are focused on choosing a career path, finding a place to live, and envisioning your future. Don’t you want to cherish that future for yourself, at least for a while? When you get married, you inevitably will be faced with a whole lot of compromises. Think about it: You’re probably going to be with this person for the rest of your life. Don’t you want the freedom to make your own choices without any kind of hindrance for a few years before all that? Right now, you should really prioritize what you truly want–otherwise you risk spending the rest of your life regretting the time you had on your own terms.
Resentment
Maybe this is just me, or maybe it isn’t – but the fact is out of all the older couples I’ve met, the most prevalent negative emotion I witness between them is resentment. When you marry young, you don’t have much room for going out with friends and making totally stupid mistakes without potentially emotionally damaging your relationship with your spouse in one form or another. And when you inevitably meet up with your old friends who talk about the good old times and you’re the only person who got married really early, don’t you think you’ll feel at least a little resentment about not being able to relate? And then guess what, it’ll be very easy to blame one person for that feeling (and no, it probably won’t be yourself).
Maturity
Even if you feel like you are super mature for you age (which is debatable,) do you really think that everyone else in their early twenties are on the same page? Not a chance. Having a spouse and potentially a child is a huge responsibility, one that many people are not truly ready for if they just left high school, like, last year.
Career Woman
Are you a girl that wants to have it all? That’s great, but not so great if you’re trying to accomplish that goal at 22 and already have three kids. Hear me out–we women are amazing beings and totally capable of achieving the life we want and dream of. Unfortunately, the reality of the world is that if you want to be a career woman, having a child at your hip right when you’re entering the workforce will most likely affect, if not hinder your progress. It’s a sad truth, and it really shouldn’t–but in the world we live in today, it does.
Experiences
You know that trip to France that you’ve dreamed of your entire life? Or that gap year in Costa Rica you keep meaning to plan? Now think of trying to live those dreams after you have already started a family. Seems a bit more complicated, right? Yea. The fact is, there are so many wonderful experiences and adventures waiting for you out in the world! And at the same time, there are many beautiful experiences you will have with your significant other and amazing children one day. But do you really want to have to pick between those two things? You can have both, but to make it happen, the traveling probably has to come before the baby in the baby carriage.
What About the Children?
Ok, I’m about to be super blunt, so brace yourself. Unless you are swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck, the chances are that you simply will not be able to give a child the true emotional and financial support it needs when you are in your early twenties. Don’t you want to be able to give your little ones everything they deserve and more? And yes, though there are quite a few governmental support systems out there that can help you out– if you can’t really afford a child to begin with, don’t you think it might be best to wait until you can? Life is tough, and though having children can be a wonderful part of it, there is no denying that they definitely complicate things.
In the end, whatever choice you make about when and to whom your get married to is entirely yours. Just remember, life is full of incredible things that don’t revolve around tying the knot and making babies. Make sure to get out there and live all of your dreams, girl.
