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Culture July 22, 2019
If answering the question "Where are you from?" requires a 24 page thesis to explain, welcome to the club.
“So where are you from?” —The question every Third Culture Kid dreads to hear. Do you answer with your ethnicity? Or the place you were born in? Do you respond with the place you’ve spent the most time in? Or the place you feel most connected to? Does the new country you’ve just moved to count?
This is an impossible question because of the complex background of us Third Culture Kids, or TCKs. But who are we? And how can we consolidate our cultural backgrounds into an introduction rather than an autobiography?
This is a question I, as a self-proclaimed Chindiporean (Chinese/Indian/Singaporean), ask myself everyday. So if you’re a Third Culture Kid, here are some everyday occurrences that you’ll surely relate to.
And if you’re not, don’t sweat it! We’ll take you on a journey with your passport in one hand, and your international beverage of choice in the other (I’d go for a Teh Tarik personally). Examine our world with your newfound multicultural magnifying glass and who knows what you’ll discover!
Third Culture Kids, as defined by Denizen, are “people who have spent a portion of their formative childhood years (0-18) in a culture different than their parents’.” These people likely moved around from multiple countries and experienced a variety of cultures. They live(d) a life in transit, always hopping from one place to another, and as a result, have accumulated a large database of cultural knowledge that they regularly use. Their identity is similar to that of nomads who don’t have that one definitive place they call home.
However, the skills that they’ve developed as a result of this dynamic state of living is often cited as a strength of TCKs. TCKs are the cool new kid on the block who’ll introduce you to the life lived by your peers around the world. Perhaps unsurprisingly, TCKs will also be the ones to sit down and connect with you and your culture for as long as they possibly can before they hop on a flight to their next adventure.
Maybe you’ll discuss it over a bite to eat?
This is a question you’ve probably heard in the cafeteria or when out with your coworkers. Maybe your mom packed natto or some fruit native to your home country that your peers have never seen before. You’ve likely been made fun of due to the strange and exotic food in your lunchbox and have grown tired of explaining that kimchi does not, in fact, smell like gym socks. Or maybe you really enjoyed showing your new friends at your school the wonders of chilaquiles and watching their eyes widen after taking their first bite.
And it made you wonder: is the food I eat weird? In a word—nope! The ‘weird’ foods that you eat are dishes that have been passed down from generations, and will probably be the next ‘food trend’ once an influencer posts about it on social media. It takes time for people’s tastebuds to adapt to new tastes. So if your friends don’t like durian—more for me and you!
Italian, American, Chinese, Indian, Japanese, Ethiopian, Korean—there are too many to choose from and you’ve had ’em all.
We’ve all been there. You reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet and you find a 100 yen coin in there—despite the fact that you’re in Costa Rica. The coins stick to you like sand after a day at the beach. But no matter how useless the foreign currency is in your current situation, it’s pretty cool to know that your wallet is a walking coin museum.
Let’s be real, whenever you go shopping, you’re always price matching. Everyone does it. Only difference is: you’re doing it internationally. Like a human version of Amazon, you’re mentally cross-referencing what department stores in China might sell this cute purse for. Or you’re contemplating if you can get your friend in Italy to buy it for you in euros and ship it to you.
Sometimes you may go a bit overboard though. Maybe just buy the carton of eggs from your local farmer’s market instead of thinking about how you could get them from your grandma’s farm for free.
The question every Third Culture Kid or International student hates to ask whose answer can induce an anxiety attack. “I can’t find it!” – *cue high pitched scream*.
Losing your passport is stressful enough for a normal person, but for a TCK? A passport’s not just a government document allowing us to travel, it’s a collection of stamps that signify the journeys we’ve taken and the adventures we’ve been on. Losing it means having to plan a visit to your local embassy, taking a passport photo (I promise myself I won’t look dead inside this time) and potentially being stuck in one place for more than a month.
*gasp* WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I’M A NATIONLESS HUMAN WITHO- oh wait I found it.
As someone who likely travels back and forth for their education or to visit family, the sociopolitical situation of a country could seriously affect where and when you can travel. Whether it’s the result of the 2020 election in the U.S. or the prolonged discussions of the effects of Brexit, you’re attuned to the world politics to make sure you’re as up-to-date as possible.
When you’re on a plane for at least five days out of the year, you begin to wonder if your time really is best spent sitting 10,000 feet in the air next to a stranger drooling over your tray table.
If Stephanie is in Venice and the timezone is GMT +2, Alexa is in Egypt and the time difference is GMT +12, and Audrey is in Bolivia with limited WiFi – how much time will it take for my head to explode?
Scheduling Skype calls with your international bffs requires a level of math and organization that you’d think we’d have developed by now.
Given the multitude of different TV shows and movies we’ve watched, we sometimes forget that other people might not be used to the entertainment we consume and maybe even find it a little bit weird. It can become a question of “is what I’m watching actually weird?” Thai horror films and telenovelas may not be everyone’s idea of movie night, but it may be yours and that’s okay!
Now all that’s left to do is wait for the latest season of your favourite show to come out—but wait!
One of the most frustrating issues when trying to keep up with your latest shows, is that fact that content isn’t always available universally. It makes you wonder why you even subscribe to Netflix and HBO in the first place.
If you’re a third culture kid, chances are you know a second language (maybe even a third or fourth), so your vocabulary is second to none. What that means though is that you might find yourself subconsciously switching between languages.
This is perhaps the coolest benefit of being a TCK. You have the ability to talk to so many more people, just by knowing a few words in other languages. That’s millions of more awesome people you could connect with.
Something about this question rubs TCKs the wrong way. It’s more than likely that we grew up in an international school or learned English after moving to an English-speaking country. By presuming that we’d have an accent or speak in broken english, we can feel singled out or ‘othered’. This is in direct conflict with our ability to seamlessly integrate into new social situations—a quality that we pride ourselves on.
English may be the lingua franca of the world, but don’t forget that we probably know several languages and it’s difficult to become entirely fluent in each language—that includes speaking in the correct tones and without a heavy accent.
Personally, I have the utmost respect for people who go to a foreign country and have to learn to converse in a language different from their own. We must never belittle people by questioning their capacity to speaking English.
Empower your coworkers and classmates by helping them out if they mispronounce or misunderstand certain phrases. You’ll be surprised at how much they may appreciate the gesture. We are rivers that run deep connected by the oceans of words that flow inside us. Before you question someone’s weakness put yourself in their shoes.
As one of my international friends once said —”you have math, science and english classes. But for us, every class in english class.”
It’s not their fault that they’re not aware of the cultural practices that you have. You just have to find a way to make sure they feel welcome in your home and that you keep your floors clean. My tip? Provide them with cute little indoor slippers!
Maybe it’s because we’re known to have higher levels of cultural sensitivity potentially helping us to avoid sociocultural conflicts. Maybe it’s because studies find that children who study abroad “regularly do well in life“. Either way the results are in and survey says: being a third culture kid is awesome.
Having a diverse range of life experiences means that we’ll be open-minded change-makers. We’ll influence decisions in the boardroom and our children’s nursery. We could be the people who help advocate for diversity in the toy industry. Our generation will be the ones inspired by women like Mihaela Noroc who show the beauty and power of diversity. We’re here to lead by example and #doitfortheculture.
No matter where you go, you know that being a TCK is a strength and you’ll never get tired of it. You’re a unique individual and your story is one just waiting to be told. The question is: in what language?
Happy trails!
