Breaking up sucks and the only way to get through it is with your friends. But what if your friends are also your ex’s friends?
Love coach Lauren Frances suggests waiting six months before hanging out with your ex’s friends or even their significant others. This gives enough time so that people can move on, create new relationships, and not feel so awkward.
But before you go unfriending all of your ex’s buddies on all of social media (still go ahead and unfriend the ex) think about if you really want to cut these people out of your life. Unfriending your ex’s friends right after the breakup is a sure-fire way of proving yourself to be over-emotional and just plain mean. For some, it might be best to take Lauren’s advice and wait six months before deciding if a friendship with some of your ex’s friends would be meaningful. For others, keeping those friends after the breakup could seriously help with the recovery process. Here are some tips on staying friend’s with your ex’s friends.
1. First, evaluate your motives. Do you want to reach out to these friends because you want some revenge, or because you truly value their friendship? If you’re just trying to make your ex jealous, you don’t really want to be friends.
2. Don’t blast it all over social media. Just like you don’t want to see pics of your ex out having fun with your friends, they don’t want to see it either. Plus, broadcasting your moves like this might make it seem like your friendship is just a ploy to get back at your ex.
3. Don’t talk about your ex with them. If you need someone to vent to about the breakup, don’t choose a mutual friend. This will just get awkward. You don’t really want to hear about how their doing just yet anyway, it will just hurt. If you really want to have a friendship with your ex’s friends that no longer involves them, don’t talk about them.
4. Don’t hook up with them. This is a good way to ruin any friendship that might have existed!
5. Don’t get too drunk with them. Too drunk = too emotional. You don’t want to release all of these emotions on your ex’s friends – it will put them in an awkward position, considering they are trying to maintain a friendship with your ex at the same time. Save the tears for your own friend, or for your cat.
6. Don’t make them choose sides. Bottom line, be respectful that these are your ex’s friends and that he/she needs them as much as you do.
