So, the person you’re in a relationship with loves you. That’s great! But guess what? So do your parents. A common theme among parents is that they usually want what’s best for their children—meaning they’ll likely try to take anyone out of the picture who they don’t deem worthy of your time. “However, just because they’re older doesn’t mean that they’re wiser,” says allwomenstalk.com. If your parents aren’t as crazy about your beau as you are, here are a few tips to help you deal.
It’s a good idea to take a step back and look at your relationship from your parents’ point of view. “One of the first things that you’ll need to do is make sure that you understand your parent’s role. They are there to protect you. If your parents don’t approve of a relationship, there probably has to be a reason why. In fact, it might even be a good reason,” says allwomenstalk.com.
Think about your relationship for a second, how is it going? Does it feel worth potentially endless drama with your parents? “Do you think that your parents not approving of your relationship is a sign?” Asks allwomenstalk.com. “Maybe weighing the pros and #cons of your relationship and really seeing if you are happy with the guy is a good option!”
Keeping your relationship a secret from your family suggests that you feel ashamed about your choice. According to psychcentral.com “Someone will inevitably find out, which will make everyone else in the family angry and upset with you both. Do make sure both of you agree about compromises in order to be together. Make sure you are sure. There is no point in confronting your parents with something that isn’t going to last.”
There must be a reason for your parents’ disapproval of your relationship, and it’s important to find out why. According to allwomenstalk.com: “This is something that you should definitely think about, that way you can make sure that you are covering every basis when you actually talk to your parents. What reasons do you think that they aren’t going to approve of your relationship?”
When you are defensive, you are implying that there is something to defend! When you argue, you are giving the signal that you can be persuaded out of your relationship choice. If you are certain that the love you share with your S.O. is real and meaningful, choose a different method of approach. “Do respond to their concerns with respect and clarity. Express your sadness that they feel the way they do. Affirm your love for them and your general respect for their opinions but be clear that you have made your decision. Quiet certainly is far more effective than angry words,” says psychcentral.com.
“Ask your mom if her father approved of your father back when they started dating. You may be able to remind her that parents don’t always know what’s best for their kids,” says allwomenstalk.com. Sometimes when parents are overprotective out of love, they don’t realize that they are actually pushing their children away rather than protecting them.
