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Let’s be honest, breakups are tough and aren’t easy to navigate through. But the good news is, you will get through them. How? Well, sometimes hearing advice from people who have gone down the same path can give you a sense of comfort. It will take effort and patience but you will heal, and you will be stronger than ever! Just follow these bits of breakup advice from Reddit users and experts.

1.  First Things First: Let it Out

ENTITY Mag shares gif of girl crying hysterically for breakup advice
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It’s perfectly okay to ask for help. Open up to friends, family, and even a therapist. Don’t make the mistake of avoiding your emotions. Let yourself feel everything.

It’s all in the name of healing. Jennifer Rollin, MSW, agrees that, “Trying to fight our feelings often leads to more suffering.” When you avoid your emotions, you are ultimately avoiding your healing. No matter how much it hurts, you should face it head-on.

This Reddit user says to, “Feel the feels. Cry so much and cry some more. Spend a week in bed. Eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while staring at old photos.”

They continue on to say that when you’re done, “Make your bed. Clean your kitchen. Put those photos in a box on the top shelf of the closet and deal with it later. Have a bath, pamper yourself, and take care of yourself just as you would want someone else to care of you.”

Feel the pain. Acknowledge it. Take action. Move forward!

2. Be Patient With Yourself

ENTITY Mag shares image of girl in front of brick wall holding clock in front of her face.
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You may not get over it in one night, but you WILL get over it someday. Take it moment by moment. Time truly does heal all wounds. Yes, the cliche is true! Even Reddit user xMadarax agrees that this pain is temporary and, “You have to capitalize it. You have to take power of the situation, and let go.”

You must remind yourself that a week from now, a month from now, and a year from now, this heartbreak will be in the past. You just have to allow yourself to get past it. Psychologist Guy Winch, Ph.D., says, “Remember that your ego and self-esteem are already hurting—don’t make it worse.”

So, don’t be too hard on yourself. Winch continues to say, “Using negative self-talk after a painful rejection is akin to breaking your leg and then deciding to hit it with a hammer. Be as compassionate toward yourself as you would be to a friend whose heart had just been broken.”

Let time run its course, and be patient with your emotions. Your feelings are valid. Please be kind to yourself!

3. Remember: You will Love Again

Gif of man an woman shaking hands
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No rush of course! Just find peace in knowing that there will be a time when you will feel whole again. Every day is a step towards that place. Right now the future may seem scary, but that isn’t the reality.

Counselor Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., acknowledges that, “After a bad breakup, you may feel that you never want to trust another soul with your heart ever again…One of the most productive ways of getting through a breakup is through the process of reflection and meaning-making.” In other words, sometimes we need to step back and search for the lesson in all of it.

She continues on to say that, “When we’re able to take an objective look at what happened in the relationship and what our role in its development and undoing had been, we are actually doing healing work.”

Sometimes people enter our lives for only a season. You must remind yourself that this is not a failure. It’s a lesson that helps with growth. There is still so much to look forward to. There are places to visit and people to meet!

BrokenMendingHeart on Reddit echoes this by stating, “What I try to remember is all the people I have dated. Each time after our breakup I felt like I could not find anyone better…each time I met someone new and dated them, I was proven wrong…I can meet someone I really connect with.”

Be happy that your heart is capable of loving someone. It’s a beautiful thing, and what’s even more beautiful is the heart’s ability to heal and grow stronger after it’s been broken.

When you are ready, you will love again.

4. Use Your Heartbreak as Fuel

ENTITY Mag shares gif of Lisa Simpson on a typewriter, she is saying, "We can better ourselves" which is great breakup advice.
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Transform your pain into fuel for your creativity and growth. Paint it out! Exercise it out! Sing it out! Write it out! Write a song, a poem, or a journal entry. Through creative expression and starting new hobbies, you can find yourself and the peace you’re longing for.

User ConvenienceStoreDiet confesses that, “The first few weeks are gonna really suck.” But you should still, “Work out like crazy, do yoga, learn a new hobby, take a class in something you’ve always wanted to, spend a lot of time around friends, watch lots of movies, treat yourself, travel someplace you’ve always wanted to visit, journal.”

They even recommend writing a letter to your ex, but, “NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DELIVER IT (because it’s not about your ex, it’s about you coming to terms with your feelings). Spend as much time as you can with friends and family. “

Life coach and podcast host Kaelin Vu agrees with this advice. She says, “In the pain, we are given two choices: to live in pain or rise above it. Some people are able to take the pain and see an opportunity. They create a better version of themselves in whatever way is most pleasing for them.” It’s a process, but you can choose happiness.

She reminds us that, “Without pain, we would not know happiness. This may take weeks, months, or years. But it is at this point that a person can find purpose in the pain and better themselves, using their heartbreak as fuel to rise above.”

Climb that hill, and trust that you will rise above.

5. Most Importantly: Love Yourself

The best breakup advice is to love yourself. Gif of a man hugging himself.
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Breakups give you a chance to date yourself and remember all of your wonderful qualities.

You dress yourself. You feed yourself. You are love! Rather than putting yourself down, build yourself up!

Runtanyarun says to, “Realize that you, and you alone have the power to determine your own quality of life, no matter what. Do the work. It’s so damn worth it!”

According to Molly Lyda, MA, MFT, LPCC, “Breakups are an opportunity to love and advocate for yourself in ways you may have never done before. That alone has a powerful effect on your sense of self.”

This is your life. It has so much in store for you. Remember, everything you’ll ever need exists within you. You have the power to lead the life you want. You got this!

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