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Critics have given a severe spanking to “erotic” sequel “Fifty Shades Darker” and the film has a terrible rating of just 10 percent on review site Rotten Tomatoes.
But ENTITY has seen the movie and feels those reviewers have got it all wrong …
Because it’s even worse than everyone says!
With this limp sado masochism drama, the only ones truly being punished are the audience members who pay to see it.
The first problem is that it’s just not a turn on. You would find more sexy action in a Lifetime channel movie of the week.
That’s because still chemistry-free stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan generate about as much heat as a Siberian winter. His permanent expression is of someone who looks like he can’t remember where he left the car keys while she comes across like third runner up in a Kristen Stewart impersonation contest.
There is certainly a curiosity to see the movie. The trailer amassed a record 114 million views in its first 24 hours when released back in September. The movie itself hits theaters this weekend.
Our advice is to avoid it. You must have something more enjoyable to do – like painting the garden fence or compiling your taxes.
Better still, stream “9 1/2 Weeks” instead. When Kim Basinger shows up in “Fifty Shades Darker” it serves to remind how she did this stuff so much better 30 years ago alongside Mickey Rourke in a proper sexy film.
RELATED: Have Movie Reviewers Become Bullies?
Adapted from the second book in the E.L. James trilogy, this one sees billionaire bondage freak Christian Grey and wide-eyed innocent Anastasia Steele resuming their kinky romance.
Most critics tore the film apart. USA Today called it “abominable,” while Newsday went with “utterly ridiculous” – and those were two of the kinder descriptions.
Bad reviews did not stop the first film being a hit. “Fifty Shades of Grey” grossed $571 million at the worldwide box office. Whether this one proves to be critic proof too remains to be seen.
Moviemakers Universal Pictures will certainly hope so as they have the third, and thankfully final, film in the series, “Fifty Shades Freed,” already filmed and set for release in a year’s time.
