Entertainment July 24, 2018
Why are there so many goat references?
If you’re a true fan then you’ve already seen “Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again” twelve times, changed your screensaver to Lily James and have been playing “Fernando” on repeat. If not, then let me warn you – spoilers ahead.
*Seriously, MAJOR spoilers are comin’ at you hotter than Christine Baranski’s high kick!*
Ok, so now that we’re all here and we’ve all seen the movie we can let out a collective “Oh My God It Was So Amazzzzing, right?!.” But, like any “Mamma Mia” fan, we know this thing is full of plot holes, unexplainable timelines and ridiculous dance sequences (that’s why we love it so much). So we have questions … fifty to be exact. Enjoy!
1. Where the F are Sophie’s best friends, Ali and Lisa, from the first movie? We miss them.
2. Why did Sky go to “the best hotel school” in New York six weeks before his big grand opening making it impossible to attend the grand opening?
3. Wouldn’t Hotel School 101 be like “Be at the Grand Opening of your hotel!”
4. Where’s the hunky dude from Tanya’s (Christine Baranski) “Does Your Mother Know” number in Mamma Mia — did he ever get that diaper off?
5. How does Donna get Harry’s (Colin Firth) guitar? In the first movie, it had her initials and kind of implied they spent an entire summer together. In the sequel/prequel young Harry (Hugh Skinner) walks away from the dock broken-hearted with the guitar still strapped to his back.
6. Was there ever a world in which Donna was still alive? Can we make that movie next?
7. How is it possible to cry this much in 120 min? I’M SO SAD.
8. Where are Sam’s (Pierce Brosnan) kids? Doesn’t he have three sons? Does he just live on this Greek island now?
9. Is it possible to go back in time and give Christine Baranski and Julie Walters more musical numbers?
10. Was “I kissed the teacher” really the only upbeat opener option? I mean I didn’t hate it …but let’s be real … it was a stretch.
11. Why do we never get to see Donna’s sexual escapades? Like she just keeps waking up with different men without ever really touching them. The first Mamma Mia was much hornier.
12. Also without steamy love scenes à la The Notebook how are we supposed to believe that 20 years later these guys get a letter and just jump on a boat to Greece to see a woman they met like once?
13. Sam, I get. Harry, maybe, because he was a virgin. But Bill? C’mon Bill was a hot Swede with a boat. He’s got one-thousand Donnas.
14. Can we just give Christine Baranski an entire sequel now full of high-kicks and sexual innuendos? She’s clearly a gift to this cruel world.
15. Did Young Donna (Lily James) exclusively shop at Anthropologie for the film? Is this some weird paid sponsorship I’m missing?
16. Speaking of dancing in an orange grove with cute crop tops — why did she go collecting oranges when she clearly already made orange juice that day?
17. Why did Young Sam leave a picture of his fiance inside his journal like a “LOOK AT ME” bookmark? #Plot.
18. If a horse was going nuts and kicking during a storm would your instinct be to use your Oxford degree and walk behind it?
19. Didn’t Donna say her mother was dead in the first movie?
20. Why is she alive now? #Cher
21. Why is her long-lost Spanish lover on the Greek island she just happens to show up to?
22. How did no one put this together before?
23. Also, is the “best kind of party” really the one you’re not invited to? Personal experience tells me otherwise.
24. Why didn’t the ferry-booth guy age in three decades? Is he a Greek God? (He did get the only end credit scene).
25. How come Sophie isn’t more “Greek”? Like she basically grew up on a tiny Greek island in a beat-up shed with goats …
26. Why did that goat hate Young Donna so much? If the goat hadn’t chased her would she still be with Sam?
27. Speaking of goats — what’s the “goat story” Bill Anderson (Stellan Skarsgård) doesn’t want us to know?
28. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING BILL?
29. Sky wants to live in NYC, Sophie wants to stay in Greece — this problem was never actually solved. Not a question, just a statement.
30. Why wasn’t the movie 4 hours? I could literally watch anything Mamma Mia for 4 hours.
31. Will there be a Mamma Mia 3? Or like Mamma Mia 2 extended cut?
32. Can we all agree “Be still my beating vagina” is perhaps the highlight of the movie?
33. How is Meryl Streep so compelling when given literally 5 minutes of screen time?
34. How do I even have tears left in my body after watching her sing “My love, my life” with Sophie? I’m crying right now.
35. Is Mamma Mia secretly just trying to get all of us to call our mothers? It worked.
36. If Donna had Sophie in 1979 — or 1980 — does that mean the first movie takes place in 1999 (like the musical) or 2000?
37. Does that mean the sequel takes place in 2010? Or does time move slower?
38. WHAT YEAR IS IT?
39. Are there deleted scenes the producers are hiding from us? Several sites have pointed out that there are musical numbers on the digital soundtrack that are NOT in the movie.
40. Seriously, where are the scenes? I NEED THEM.
41. Why did Donna, Tanya and Rosie keep the same hairstyles for 30 years?
42. The “Angel Eyes” number was the best. Again, thank YOU Christine Baranski for being born. Am I right?! <<< See, it’s a question now.
43. Did they create Young Christine Baranski (Jessica Keenan) from the actual DNA of Christine Baranski? Because WTF she’s the same person.
44. Seriously, how did I not know this technology existed? Can we get a young Brad Pitt back?
45. Why did some reviews refer to Dominic Cooper (Sky) as a “new cast member” (ahem, Deadline Hollywood)? Why do we let faux Mamma Mia fans come near this movie?
46. WHERE IS BILL’S GREAT AUNT SOFIA?????
47. Is Mamma Mia the greatest movie of all time?
48. When did Sky and Sophie get married?
49. Why didn’t we get a movie for that?
50. Seriously, I’ll take any excuse. Can we just have another movie? Pretttttty pleeeeeeeeeease.
If you have your own questions comment down below!
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