An Important Guide to Quieting Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy in relationships happens to the best of us, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it get the best of you. Rather than starting an argument or wasting your time snooping on your unsuspecting partner, learn productive ways to manage your jealousy without wrecking your relationship.

Read these five tips to go from jealous girlfriend to healthy relationship guru.

1 Acknowledge that jealousy in relationships exist.

Recognizing jealousy in relationships early on can help deflate regretful rash reactions. Reflect on the underlying reason for your jealousy: Are you afraid of losing your partner? What other fears might be in play? Understanding your emotions can help you gain power over them.

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2 Take a reality check.

While it can be easy to imagine what might be going on if your significant other comes home late several nights in a row, take a moment to review the facts. If it helps you process the situation, talk it through with a trusted friend – one who won’t perpetuate gossip or amplify unfounded worries.

3 Affirm your positive attributes.

Jealousy in relationships is dangerous because it paves way for insecure feelings. Rather than allowing insecurities to take hold,  sit still for a moment to remember all the things you love about yourself. Take time to write down a list; you’ll be surprised at how much it can boost your confidence and help mitigate your jealously. When you get jealous, avoid comparing yourself to others. Nothing productive can come from an unfounded jealousy of a coworker or close friend.

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4 Communicate calmly and openly with your partner.

Let your partner know when you’re feeling ignored or replaced by someone (or something) else. Rather than allowing jealous feelings to build up over time, try to address the issue before it becomes a relationship crisis. Be sure to listen to your partner’s perspective. Any perceived distance could be a symptom of something else entirely, not jealousy in relationships.

5 Evaluate the relationship to ensure it aligns with your own values.

Sometimes jealousy in relationships can be a sign that two partners don’t fully align in important values, such as trust, commitment or monogamy. If your jealously stems from a mismatch of values between you and your partner, it may be time to reconsider the relationship or reopen a discussion about boundaries and expectations.

This conversation may seem scary at first, especially if you’re afraid of losing your partner. However, it can positively transform how you communicate with him or her and it will set your mind at ease. If the discussion does illuminate fundamental differences in your values, you can free yourself from a relationship that would just continue to make you feel jealous over time.

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