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Mentorship August 10, 2016
We have all been at the gossiping lunch table. We have passed someone in the hallway and exchanged death glares. We have even overheard the whispered rumors about our friend.
No matter the venue, feeling like someone is judging you or someone you care about sucks. It’s a tough situation to deal with. You may want to run to them and tell them right away, but that may not be the best idea.
Knowing that other people are talking about you is the worst feeling. How would it feel if you had a rumor spread about you and no one believed your side of the story? It’s hurtful knowing that the group of women whispering in the corner are probably talking about you.
Because of this, it’s probably best that your friend doesn’t even know these things are being said. Being out of the loop not only makes her feel better, but it also prevents her from reacting to it. If she isn’t affected by the secrets being shared, then others might see her ignorance as a big red flag that the story may not be true. Maybe it’s true when they say, “Ignorance is bliss.”
Let’s say for a second, you decide to tell your friend. The first thing she is going to want to do is to find out who is spreading lies about her. This will send her on a rage-filled goose chase that will only end in a catastrophic way.
Save the stress and worry. If you, deep down, know that the rumor is false, stop it for her. Leaving her out of the loop causes the domino effect of drama to stop at you. You don’t want your friend to be the center of big issues because she was filled with too many overwhelming emotions and did something she couldn’t take back.
Sometimes, people do things you would never expect them to do. It’s part of being human. We’re unpredictable. Automatically assuming the “rumor” is false and running to tell your friend could result in something you could never have imagined. Maybe the whispers have some validity to them and your friend might be horrified that now the whole school knows about it. Keep your lips sealed and try to fish the truth out of your friend without letting her know that her secret may be out. If it is something bad, she may need someone to comfort her.
Always remind yourself and your friend that these types of social situations are only temporary. Take a deep breath and know that a year from now you will both probably forget about the rumors.
Instead, be the bigger person and don’t entertain the haters.
