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Inspiration June 4, 2018
You are the one you've been looking for.
As a self-confessed hopeless romantic, getting over someone after a relationship can feel utterly impossible. Giving up on someone you’ve poured all of your heart into can leave you feeling empty. Left only with the reminders of love lost, how is one to move on? How to get over someone?
My personal experience of unrequited love has taught me how to mend a broken heart and move on from someone I couldn’t give up. I’ll admit, getting over someone is never easy. With some self-love, new adventures and a little help from your friends, you can get over that someone, too.
Falling in love can be so easy. Losing yourself in the process can be just as easy.
As many of us do, I used to base my own self-worth on the love I received from others. I thought I was only deserving of love when others decided I was worthy enough to love.
By giving myself over to love, I had unknowingly placed my sense of self-love and worth in the hands of another person. A person who was and is not obligated to love me.
I began to heal once I gained back the love I had depended on receiving from someone else. Love, I realized, was not finding the right person. It was finding myself.
Don’t underestimate the power of friendship. Our society is absolutely obsessed with gushy, romantic love. In fact, the importance placed on finding “true love” led me to believe that romance was the be and end all.
False!
While I don’t deny the bliss (and pleasure…) that accompanies romantic love, a good group of friends or family can provide more love than one person can ever give.
My friends faithfully stood by me as I endured the broken-heart saga. We spent our days at the beach and our nights cuddled up, laughing and crying together. While I eventually learned how to cope and love myself, spending time with my friends helped me forget my loneliness, if only for a while.
After spending countless time and energy on someone else, reconnecting with yourself can feel like a tough feat. And while spending time with friends is an important step in getting over someone, spending time alone is equally necessary.
Individuality and autonomy can be too easily forgotten. Our thoughts, values and identity can be blurred when not given the space to establish and nurture our sense of self. Time spent solo gives you the space to authentically reflect on yourself and what you want out of the world.
Time spent alone doesn’t have to be lonely. Rather, alone time reminds us that we can be our own Prince or Princess Charming. The more time I spent alone, the more I discovered new things about myself. By taking the time to fall in love with myself, I learned that I am capable of self-fulfillment and self-made happiness.
So, go ahead– take yourself out on a date. Pamper yourself with chocolate and flowers. Give yourself time to reawaken your independence and fierce self-love.
Letting go requires that you hold onto something else in the meantime. Channel the energy you tirelessly exerted in your relationship (or crush) into exploring new activities and hobbies.
As for me, I threw myself into any and every new experience I could find. I sought out new adventures that would expose me to new people and places. By surrounding myself with the unfamiliar, I slowly began to forget the all-too-familiar pang of heartbreak.
Not only can new adventures distract you from a heavy heart, but can introduce you to new people who share similar passions. The more connections you make, the easier it becomes to let go of the old and welcome the new.
Live for yourself. As soon as you learn to love and live for your own happiness, you’ll realize that getting over someone can be easier than you think.
