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Inspiration November 4, 2020
Confidence is a muscle that benefits from being exercised.
Maybe you’re born with it, but you can also develop it. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Brittany Packnett’s TED talk on how to build your confidence. It taught me that confidence is a muscle, and it can be built up. Below, I’ll show you 10 ways to build your confidence and how it can benefit you in relationships, work, and all aspects of life.
We’ve all heard the phrase “accept who you are.” While it can be said with the greatest intentions, it can also be counterproductive. Accepting who you are now can ironically allow you to believe that you have to settle for a certain fate. You may feel that you are not worthy of certain things because you have accepted this current, perceived version of yourself. Because of this, you do what you’ve always done and don’t aim any higher.
So, instead of just accepting yourself as you are now, build your confidence by assuring yourself that you are perfect in being yourself and that you can have high standards for how you live your life.
Everyone thinks negatively at times. One way to develop confidence is to counter those negative thoughts. Even Rihanna, a renowned singer, admits to not always feeling her best. Her advice? “Pretend.”
There may even be a science to it. Sciencedaily says, “The old saying ‘fake it until you make it’ might actually be sound professional advice, with new research finding self-confidence is a key determinant of workplace success.”
It’s easy to compare yourself to other people, especially when you see your peers flexing on social media. But, building confidence has to come from within. When you focus on yourself, it is like watering a plant. Watering a plant is what helps it grow and bear fruit. When you focus on yourself, confidence is the fruit.
Comparing yourself to other people is self-destructive. You can never be anyone else and you shouldn’t want to. You have the best possible outcome when you stop comparing your accomplishments to that of other people. Instead, focus on your own health and goals so that you can grow strong.
To love yourself is to forgive yourself. It is to give yourself the grace to make mistakes, learn, and move on.
In an article on Very Well Mind, they suggest following the “Four R’s” of forgiveness: Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal.
They go on to say whether you’re trying to forgive yourself or someone else, “Forgiveness means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed.”
To love yourself is to be in absolute admiration of all you are, mistakes included. By forgiving yourself, you learn how to love yourself, and you exude confidence.
Being vain has gotten a bad rep when truthfully, we should all do it more often. A quick fix to low self-esteem is looking at yourself in the mirror and falling in love with what you see.
When I was young, I used to look in the mirror every day and tell myself I was beautiful, regardless of the world’s standards. When it comes to confidence, the only opinion that mattered was mine.
Repeating this mantra drastically changed my confidence for the better. And it’s part of a cycle. Believing you’re beautiful makes you more confident, and being confident makes you more beautiful.
Do whatever you want. Do whatever feels right. Do whatever makes you happy, and don’t think about anyone else’s opinions. In the book, “The
Confidence Code,” co-authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman say, “Confidence is the purity of action produced by a mind free of doubt.”
The freedom that comes with doing what makes you happy is confidence. It puts an extra pep in your step and helps you to hold your head higher. The more you believe in yourself, the more confidence you will exhibit.
In other words, see the glass as half full, not half empty. When people say things that hurt you, take whatever is useful, and ignore the rest. Use criticism to be a better version of yourself.
Instead of seeing negative comments as they were intended, look at them from a positive viewpoint. As Beyoncé said, “You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation.”
Oprah spoke at Harvard’s 2013 Graduate Commencement where she offered gems of advice to the graduates. She shared the story that led her to the present; a surprising account of how just a year prior she had, in her words, “stopped succeeding.” She advised the graduates to learn from every mistake and see failures as redirection.
This is an important component of confidence: not being held down by failures. Confidence is having the undying tenacity to try again until success is attained.
Give yourself credit for all you’ve accomplished. You can be your own cheerleader. It is okay to encourage yourself for all the things you are proud of. Give yourself a pat on the back, a round of applause, even a cheer. You deserve it.
Psychology Today says positive self-talk illuminates hope and happiness, “When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward.”
Confidence is contagious. When you are confident, you inspire the women (and men) around you to also be confident. Confidence is inspiring and encouraging. It encourages others to build their own confidence. Imagine if you started exuberating confidence, and then your coworker, her little sister, and her best friend also did too. The cycle of confidence would be empowering across all women!
Our society needs more confident women. Confident women are more attractive, more productive, and more effective. That is a world I want to see. So today, join me, and choose to be confident.
