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Style June 6, 2017
Your forehead looks like a minefield.
Bangs are one of the most frustrating fashion conventions of the 21st century. They’re cute, but sometimes they’re just not worth the hassle.
Here are some of the most infuriating by-products of the hipster’s favorite hairdo.
Have you ever wondered what hair would look like if you bathed it in chicken grease for two hours? Well, look no further – bangs provide you with all your favorite greasy hairstyles, including marathon runner, Tom Hanks from “Castaway,” and recently drowned in massage oil. Try it today!
SOLUTION: Sprinkle a bit of baby powder into the roots and brush through with a comb.
Have you maintained a regular face-washing routine that you follow religiously? Get ready for that to not matter! Simply watch as the curtain on your forehead traps every oil known to man into your unsuspecting pores. Now that’s beauty!
SOLUTION: Don’t put any makeup on your forehead. If a blemish or two peaks out, cover it with a small spot of concealer. Continue with your normal daily face wash routine, and make sure sweat doesn’t linger on any part of your forehead.
You remember Karen? The woman who always asks you why you’re still single while tugging mercilessly at your roots? Well, Karen is about to become your new best friend. Because now that you have a fringe, your hair will be growing at lightning speed. Isn’t that convenient?
SOLUTION: Look for salons that will trim bangs free of charge. And please, please do not cut them yourself without the proper research.
Cliffside breezes are no longer romantic. A light gust can turn your once gentle fringe into tiny little eye stabbers – ones that no amount of hair flipping can eliminate.
SOLUTION: Soldier on and look toward the horizon. The worst will be over soon.
You have tweaked, adjusted and blow dried that one part a thousand times, but it remains bald and stubborn.
SOLUTION: Comb bangs from the root immediately after washing hair. This will prevent the roots from drying in awkward formations.
At the end of the day, despite all the struggles that the hairstyle entails, you know that you can’t give them up. On those rare occasions when bangs do all the things they’re supposed to, it’s a classy, confident look for any woman with perseverance.