Recent Posts
Entertainment July 29, 2017
A "Broad City" quote a day keeps the Chlamydia away... or something like that.
Photo by @/gettyentertainment via TwitterThe types of “Broad City” quotes we get while watching their wild episodes have always been for the books. This show is sound-bite central.
So, we thought we should compile a list of the wildest and funniest “Broad City” quotes that the cast has to offer, organized by who said it and the types of situations you can use them for. We think we’ve covered all our bases.
Weirdly enough, IMDb doesn’t have anything under their “Broad City” quotes section, which is super suspect. But don’t worry, we’ve got you guys covered. Scroll through our collection below and enjoy!
Lana: “You said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.”
Abbi: “I never said that to you.”
Lana: “It has been implied.”
Abbi: “By you.”
Lana: “Who would you rather go down on you? Michael Bublé or Janet Jackson?”
Abbi: “Can Janet Jackson go down on me while Michael Bublé narrates it in song?”
Abbi: “What’s an Arch de Triumph?”
Lana: “It’s when two dudes go down on us, is how I picture it, and they’re butt to butt and then you and I do Oprah hands.”
Abbi: “I really don’t feel like going into work today.”
Lana: “T.G.I.F. at least.”
Abbi: “It’s Tuesday”
Lana: “Oh, fuck!”
Abbi: “What is your return policy?”
Cashier: “It’s 30 days.”
Abbi (walking away): “Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then … biiiiitch.”
Cashier (yelling after her): “You still need to sign the receipt!”
Random Guy: “I need someone for the amazing race because my mom just pulled out.”
Abbi: “Maybe your dad should have pulled out.”
Lana: “I also have business with the bank. I’d like to cash these nickels, and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much.”
Lana: “I’m a sexual X-Man. I’m Wolverine. I’m Vulvarine!”
Lana: “The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.”
Abbi: “I would take you on my shoulders – like I’d strap you up and be like, ‘Let’s go through helllll.’”
Lana: “I’m not sexually aroused, I’m fiscally aroused.”
Abbi: “I got one, a gynecologist that’s also a bikini waxer.”
Lana: “That’s literally a one stop pussy shop. I love it!”
Lana: “Wanna fooook?!”
Lana: “I finally figured out my eyebrows, They’re sisters, not twins.”
Lana: “Four R’s, my friend: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna.”
Lana: “Statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody’s going to be, like, caramel and queer.”
Abbi: “I don’t know if I would call it a white power suit, especially after you talked about that ethnic smorgasbord of unpaid workers.”
Abbi: “I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.”
Abbi: “I finally masturbated above the covers without my eyes being closed.”
Abbi: “I just want to get home and watch my shows.”
Feel free to write these on your mirror or print it out on a bumper sticker and slap it on the bumper of your car. Spread the love and laughter for those more unfortunate than ourselves – you know, those who don’t have “Broad City” in their lives … yet.
For more “Broad City” quotes and sayings alike, visit Tumblr or our other article that talks about the best “Broad City” reaction GIFs.
