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Mentorship March 26, 2020
How to use self-validation in the healthiest way for you.
In a fast-paced world such as the one we live in today, it is easy to get lost in your own thoughts and take people’s targeted judgments to heart. The reality is that no one can help you get out of a negative slump except for yourself. As empowered individuals, we must learn how to pick ourselves back up after a rough battle. Dr. Shadiyah Edwards offers some key ideas about managing your self-validation from within.
Dr. Edwards has 18 years of experience in the mental health field. She attended California State University, Long Beach where she majored in Criminal Justice. She then went to collect her M.A. in Applied Forensic Psychology and Doctor of Psychology in Clinical & Forensic Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.
The first step is to recognize the problem and to try and pinpoint the events that lead to self-validation issues.
Dr. Edwards says that, “By accepting your own internal experience, your thoughts and feelings, you calm yourself and manage your emotions more effectively.”
It may be people who you perceive as close to you or even co-workers that can provoke your thin patience. Whoever it may be, you must distance yourself from such individuals as soon as you can pick up on their negativity. Such people are often extremely insecure and pick on others to make themselves feel better.
As empowered individuals, we must rely on ourselves to generate a good amount of positivity and motivation to push us through our daily struggles.
Dr. Edwards makes note that, “it is important to remember you cannot control others’ feelings, emotions, and attitudes.”
Understanding and accepting that you cannot control every occurrence is a step towards managing your validation and allowing yourself to live life stress-free.
Change comes from within. If you work on your own problems and approach them critically, then you will be on the path to finding the best version of yourself.
Edwards says that “You need to start validating yourself in action. Whenever you address your needs, you reinforce to yourself that they are important, regardless of whatever you did or didn’t do previously.” That is not to say that outside help is forbidden, but oftentimes, all we need is to clear our clouded thinking through the assessment of our actions.
Your struggles are not equal to the struggles of those around you. Therefore, you must weigh your problems based on your growth history and never compare your progress to that of others. In doing so, you eliminate unrealistic expectations of your growth and you allow yourself to grow organically.
Self-validation falls under problems related to mental health. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed more frequently than normal, please seek professional help.
