Lifestyle August 1, 2019
Are you sure you put alcohol in here?
You wouldn’t think that there needed to be proper etiquette at the bar, but unfortunately, there’s seems to be a need for it. Here’s your unofficial bartending 101 guide of what not to say to someone bartending. While most people are very nice to people who work in the service industry, there are also those who are not. In the almost five years that I have been bartending, I have learned a lot about intoxicated humans and their actions towards bartenders, especially women.
Sweetie, sweetheart, baby, honey, any pet name really! My name is clearly written on my name tag and if you can’t read it I will be more than happy to tell you. Not only is it weird to call a stranger “baby” but it is also incredibly uncomfortable for the bartender. Pet names are considered a term of endearment and calling someone who doesn’t even know you by one of these names is nine times out of ten straight up not a good idea.
When I ask you what you want to drink, please for the love of all things holy PLEASE don’t say “you”.
There was this one time I was at work and I had been helping this elderly gentleman all night. He was nice and reminded me of a grandfather figure. I didn’t find him creepy at all. That is until he was finishing up his drink and I asked him if I could get him anything else.
The good ole classic “you”, had to spill from his mouth followed by the much anticipated, “I’m super funny and original, “laugh. He got up to leave and came over to the side of the bar near where the door to get out of the bar is.
He asked to tell me goodbye and if he could have a hug. I’m from the South so people asking to give hugs isn’t an uncommon thing. I particularly am not a fan of hugs and especially not from random strangers at the bar but because I have a hard time saying no to people, I agreed.
When I walked over to him he gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, “Can you be my girlfriend? I just want to put you in my pocket.” You… What? You want to put me in your pocket? First of, all he was older than most things in an antique store. No shade if that’s your type… But, excuse me but according to the world wide web, men’s pockets are about 9.1in by 6.4in. I am 5ft 4 in. While I am not a scientist but I am 99.9% certain my body will not fit in a pocket.
You wouldn’t believe how many people have said that to me. Not only is it offensive, but it also implies that they think I am uneducated. Plot twist for those people though, I am in college, working on my second degree, AND I bartend at the same time.
When you say things like this to people it’s almost like a backhanded compliment. When I tell people I am also a student they seem shocked and some will even ask what I am doing working. Well… mostly because school is expensive.
No amount of flirting is going to make me give you a free drink. Where I work we are not allowed to give out free alcohol. If I’m giving someone a drink for free it is because I paid for it myself and it definitely won’t be to someone who asked for it.
I also won’t give you a free drink if you promise to leave me a good tip. If you have the money to tip, you have the money to pay for your drink.
A little trick that male and female bartenders do is that we wear a ring on our left ring finger. There’s nothing wrong with being hit on but sometimes you just want to do your job without being sexualized.
There was one time I was at work and this guy asked me if I was married. Out of instinct, I said no, even though I was wearing my fake ring. He proceeded to ask why I was wearing a ring and I told him for people to not hit on me.
What this guy said next was something that lit my soul on fire in a bad way. This stranger had the audacity to tell me that I shouldn’t wear a ring because guys who want to be with me might be too scared to ask me out if they see my ring. My response to him is that the ring was doing its job then.
While these things happen, they aren’t every day. It’s basic bartending knowledge that these things are going to happen. I still do love my job and bartending despite the catcalls. Bartending can be so fun and it honestly has helped me grow so much. With that being said, if you’re ever uncomfortable in a situation, find someone to help.
Click here to read on how to say “no” to unwanted advances.
