Lifestyle July 29, 2019
Change your mind, change your life.
Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook are easily accessible with the flick of a finger.
With these apps, you can readily keep up to date with your friends and stay informed about your favorite brands but likewise, it’s also easy to go down the rabbit hole of feeling like you’re not doing enough when everyone else seems like they have it all figured out.
At this point, your mind is probably telling you that you need some ice cream to help you through this emotional distress and, while ice cream is a sweet treat, it definitely isn’t going to be sweet after you finish the pint.
Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving as much as you want in your life, know that everyone goes through this at some point.
Especially nowadays when we are in a society that constantly looks for the next big thing. And that is okay, you just need to realize that the key to success or changing a habit is to change your mindset about your abilities and skills.
There are two types of mindsets: fixed and growth. The terms were first coined 30 years ago by psychologist Carol Dweck and her colleagues who were interested in student’s response to failure and their attitudes towards learning. A fixed mindset is when you believe that you are incapable of learning new things. Or in other words, your learning abilities are dependent on genetics.
In contrast, a growth mindset is the exact opposite. According to Dweck, having a growth mindset is crucial for success, believing that your brain could grow and that you could do anything.
That sounds like an overly bold statement but, when you close your mind off from taking on challenges and learning new things, your brain won’t be making new neuro-connections. Similar to exercising, when you expose your muscles to new routines, your muscles will better retain that information and each time you perform that same exercise, the easier it’ll become.
Dweck also studied student’s response to failures and setbacks through a math exam given to each student in the study where each question got progressively more difficult. Results showed that successful (top-scoring) students were the ones that persisted, viewing failure as a signal to try a different solution rather than a brick wall that prevented them from moving forward.
In categorizing those top-scoring students, they would be the ones that have a growth mindset. Although there are two kinds of mindsets, keep in mind that sometimes it isn’t always black and white-our mind can run on a spectrum of thinking in which in some ways we are open to certain skills and opportunities and in other ways, we are less certain in our potentials.
So if none of this is cut and dry, then you may be thinking what’s the point of having a growth mindset anyways or how do I even start to change my thinking. Here’s the deal. Everything starts from progression. Change starts from doing little by little and that’ll take months or even years before it becomes second nature. This may sound difficult to you but there are numerous ways to start such as sending resumes to companies that you dream to work for or teaching yourself a skill. Those are great ways to drive momentum but, the most simple yet highly effective strategy is to rewire your brain.
To help you understand this dynamic concept, let me ask you a question: What commands a computer to perform all its tasks? A code! When a code is written that is essentially telling the computer to do what the code says. Similarly, what we think tells us how we should behave.
So, if you are thinking that you will never get your dream job because you don’t have the skills then you will never get it because there is no command for any action. But, if you think that you are able to learn those skills that your job requires then you will actively seek out the resources that can help you learn those required skills. This seems obvious, but most people don’t realize the direct consequences that stem from their thinking.
A girl boss that we love who embodies the growth mindset is Aileen Xu, or also known for her company Lavendaire, a social influencer and lifestyle vlogger. She has found her passion to do YouTube after many years of soul searching and is now helping others, especially young women to also strive to find their own passions in life. She provides many useful resources up on her website such as her videos, blogs, and podcasts featuring many other entrepreneurs and creatives. On her website, you can find more information about mindsets and shifting your habits and behaviors. I highly recommend you to check her out!
So, how do you start? How the fucking way do you even change your own narrative? In the next section, I’m going to list a couple of strategies that you can implement to help drive you towards the next step.
You don’t have to be a gym rat or an outdoor enthusiast to get a solid workout in. Even a 15-minute walk around your neighborhood gives you the energy, the creativity, the strength, or the calm you need to set your mind in the right state.
Sign up for a free fitness session at your favorite gym or buddy up with your fitness junkie friend to their workout. And if you are feeling adventurous, you can also walk to a place that you are dying to experience like a new coffee shop or a shop that sells local craft goods.
Another method you can implement for those of us who are absolutely indoor bunnies is to purchase a pair of cute outdoor shoes because you can look good while feeling good.
And for those of us who are coffee and tea addicts, you can take your favorite drink to-go while going for a lovely stroll around your neighborhood in the morning.
2. Journal and Writing Things Out
Journaling is basically the grown-up version of a diary. Journaling can take on many forms: word vomits, poems, brain dumps or, sketches. They don’t even have to make sense!
Journaling is essentially a way to get your feelings and thoughts-an untangible object to something that can take shape on paper.
This method is great for wallflowers who are deep thinkers and prefer to be our own therapists. Getting your thoughts and feelings onto something visual allows us to see patterns of our inner self or of our stresses that we are not able to identify if we purely kept it in our minds.
If you are an avid collector of notebooks and have a dozen unused ones, now is the time to put value into those little treasures. If not, then you can purchase one from your local stationary store or better yet, buy matching notebooks for you and your loved ones. And for all of us who are digital savvy, you are welcome to journal on your laptop using One Note, Microsoft Word, or other note-taking platforms.
3. Read
Reading not only delve us into different ways of storytelling but it also is consumption of knowledge. In reading, we are constantly hearing new voices, exposing ourselves to various creative forms, and we are unconsciously training our self discipline.
Currently, reading is taken from the paper to the screen. The majority of us read via mobile during our morning commute or in between our classes. Which is great but, in addition to scrolling through news and your subscribed articles, reading a physical book boosts your retention, persistence and teaches you creative solutioning.
You may be asking now, how am I going to read a whole book when I can’t seem to sit still for 10 minutes?
Breath.
Ease into this habit by reading a page a day. Then, read a chapter a day. After getting through the first step of just starting, you soon realize that it’s much easier to continue and who knows, you might find a book so delicious and divine that you can’t bear to put it down.
4. Gratitude
Practice gratitude.
Every day we get so caught up with our projects and thoughts that we forget to thank the people we love. We forget to enjoy the things we already are blessed with and the beauty that surrounds us. Taking a minute in our day to think about what we are grateful for reinforces the happiness in our lives.
You can start practicing gratitude by writing 3-5 things that you are grateful for that day. It can be in your journal or on your laptop. The things that you write down doesn’t have to be “big” things, they can be small little things too-anything that you loved throughout your day.
Doing this continuously will help you see the patterns occurring in your daily life that makes you happy. And you can start to gravitate yourself to those things.
5. Acts of Affirmations and Self Care
See, we like you so why shouldn’t you like yourself too?
It may seem awkward at first but the more you tell yourself that you are strong and beautiful and qualified, the more real it can become. Repetition helps you memorize for that vocabulary test or a stranger’s name so for sure it’ll help you remind yourself how badass you are.
As women who are striving to make it big in the workforce, know that you’re going to be rejected. Know that you’re going to be offered a pitch for your company, and know that people want to know what you’re all about. So own it. No one is going to put their trust and value in you if you don’t believe in yourself first.
It’s easy to be so work and dream driven that as women, we need to make time for self-care. Self-care is the best love you can give yourself. Start by making time in the week to do the things that you enjoy whether that’s taking a nice bubble bath, watching a movie at home-robe and all, or going to get your nails done. It’s as simple as that.
