Lifestyle June 20, 2018
Self-Love is the new relationship goals...
I am a huge advocate for body positivity. I think being in love with who you are is the most single most important thing you can do. Once you’re in love with yourself, the confidence will follow. However as much as I practice what I preach, I still fall down into the rabbit hole that is comparison — and I’m willing to bet you have too. We all suffer from this. Comparison is an inevitable evil that finds its way into our daily lives. Whether it’s about appearance, experience or something else, it happens to the best of us even if we don’t want it to.
Despite the love I have for myself, I still find myself envying others on social media (and IRL, but it’s just so much more prevalent online!) What can we do when this happens? I live on social media, it’s part of my career! So, how can we avoid this? Is it just completely unavoidable, should we give up all hope now? Or is there something we can do to help combat the overwhelming negativity that sits at the click of our fingertips?
While there is no secret recipe to success when it comes to staying body positive, here are a few things that can help.
Okay, so maybe I don’t mean literally like your own photo every time you like someone else’s, but metaphorically that’s exactly what I mean! A good piece of advice I’ve heard before is “Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend.” When we are self-critical, we are saying things we would never say to our friends! So why are you saying them to ourselves?
Whether it’s a note you leave for yourself on the mirror or a daily alarm set on your phone, never stop telling yourself “Hey, you are beautiful!” or “You are worthy.” Reminding yourself who you are and what you’re capable of is the number one way to combat comparison. If you see a photo on Instagram and think to yourself “Man, I’d like to look like that,” pause. Close the app. Pull up your reminder, or close your eyes and tell yourself three things you like about yourself. It’s all about the reminders. With social media taking over our lives, it’s easy to forget who we are. Always remind yourself.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way. We know this, and yet we still create definitions in our head and feel discouraged when we don’t meet that definition’s standards. Don’t let yourself get trapped in that. Yes, people we see on social media are beautiful, but SO ARE WE.
Last but not least, a huge help to staying body positive online is to follow those who are encouraging it. These people can range from your friends who post tips on their Snapchat, to body-positivity focused fashion bloggers to celebrities such as Demi Lovato and Lili Reinhart. Demi is probably the biggest body-positivity queen of our generation. She focuses a LOT on self love, and being good to your body because it deserves to be loved and respected. She also posted an Instagram story where she showed off her stretch marks, cellulite and fat. She included photos and a Boomerang where she pinched the skin on her stomach and shook her legs with captions such as “Cellulite and yet I still love myself!” Fans said they couldn’t see any imperfections and Demi responded with “The boomerang smoothed out my legs. The point is, I have cellulite just like the other 93% of women do. What you see on Instagram isn’t always what it seems to be. Let’s embrace our real selves. #iloveme”
Reinhart, though a fairly new face to Hollywood, has wasted no time combating unconventional beauty standards and has stood up for her body multiple times. The cover of Cosmopolitan Philippines edited her and Riverdale co-star Camila Mendes’ waists, and she was NOT happy. Lili took to her Instagram story as well, calling out the magazine and explaining that she and Camila, “have worked incredibly hard to feel confident and comfortable in the bodies they have. It’s an everyday battle sometimes. And to see our bodies become so distorted in an editing process is a perfect example of obstacles we have yet to overcome. So we cannot stop fighting. Our battle has only just begun. We are powerful, beautiful and strong… we aren’t going to hide behind Photoshop to conform to beauty standards. That’s why I’m calling out @Cosmopolitan_Philippines. It’s sad that you felt our bodies needed to be slimmed down. But Camila and I are beautiful. As is. And you can’t “fix” us.”
PREACH!! Following these two stars on social media has helped me immensely, and I know there are others like them out there! It doesn’t keep me from falling into comparison 100% of the time, but it’s a great reminder that we are all beautiful the way we are and that what the media tells us is beautiful is wrong! Just the other day Lili took to her IG story again to say that sometimes her body is bloated, sometimes an unflattering photo is taken, sometimes she gains weight. She followed up with “My body is something that I will NEVER apologize for. My body will constantly go through change. And so will yours. And that’s fine.”
*Insert praise hands emoji here!* Thank you Lili Reinhart, Demi Lovato and every other body-positive person out there who is using social media to lift their voice and encourage women to love their bodies!
