Relationships September 18, 2017
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” -Oscar Wilde
Falling in love shouldn’t only be about loving other people. It should also be about loving yourself.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “You have to learn to love yourself before loving someone else.” And I’m also sure plenty of people have just shrugged it off as another one of those. But don’t. It’s true.
Research shows that people in relationships who have low self esteem are more likely to have more problems in their romantic life when compared to people who are more confident in themselves. Erica Slotter, Ph.D, said on Psychology Today, “People can actually behave quite destructively toward relationship partners when they feel that those partners have threatened their self-esteem in some way.”
So if you’re having a hard time falling in love with your partner, there’s nothing wrong with falling in love yourself instead.
And if you’re ready to embark on this lifelong journey, here are some ways that can help you become more comfortable with loving yourself.
Falling in love with yourself is about loving the body you’re in.
There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance, though. Confidence is associated with feelings of well-being, self-acceptance and compassion toward oneself. Arrogance is thinking you’re better than everyone else and an exaggeration toward your importance.
People who are body positive and confident report more happiness, optimism and life satisfaction compared to those who criticize themselves harshly.
Examples of people living body positive lives include Jennifer Lawrence, Adele, Rihanna, Demi Lovato, Beyoncé and many more.
There’s nothing wrong with taking yourself to dinner, the movies or even shopping. You don’t need anyone to accompany you to those places. You are a strong, independent woman. Tell yourself that as many times as you need to, to believe it.
Having alone time is the best thing for you to fall in love with yourself. It allows you to slow your hustle down and spend time enjoying life around you. Try food you’ve never tried before and go to places that interest you. Make yourself happy for a change.
If you’ve ever felt under-appreciated or disrespected, know that you’re worth much more than the way you’ve been treated. Stop apologizing for things you have not done wrong. And don’t apologize being being who you are.
Be proud of how far you’ve come and the growth you still have ahead of you. Don’t spend time nitpicking on the things you haven’t accomplished yet. That’s a waste of your energy. Instead, use that energy to fuel you for even more greatness.
Falling in love with yourself can be hard, but just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are great. And mean it!
In order to truly love yourself, you must learn how to trust yourself. Stop doubting the decisions you make. Don’t doubt your intelligence. Don’t doubt your abilities.
And while you’re at it, make promises to yourself and keep them, like working out more often or eating right. Whatever it may be, just keep your promise and follow through with that goal.
Go get your nails done, hair done, everything done. If you look great you feel great.
Pamper yourself as much as you’d like. Buy yourself something you’ve always wanted but never had the chance to get it. Or take yourself on a nice spa day where all you do is relax and get pampered.
The less stress you have, the more energy you have to fall in love with yourself.
All in all, loving yourself is an important way to learn how to love others. Self-love means feeling good about yourself and having the compassion to embrace your flaws.
So take yourself on a nice date and know you are enough.
